The other night I was stressing out about an upcoming presentation, accompanied by a quiz I didn't feel prepared for and a tutor session that started too early for me to get any good sleep. All I could think was how much I wanted to be a kid again.
I guess I'm in that place between being a true kid and being a true adult. It seems like the best times are when you're on one side or the other; you're young and naive with no responsibilities or you're wise and responsible with a lot already figured out. Sometimes I may worry too much about the future, but come on; you can't blame me. In general I would say, most of the time these worries can be attributed to only one thing: my fear of the possibility of failure. All my worries and fears had only this one thing in common.
When I was a kid, I wanted nothing more but to be an adult, but then reality sets in. I should have listened to my parents when I was younger because they were right when they said you don't want to grow up just yet. Growing up, I didn't give my parents that much credit. Now, I can see that they were right about a lot of things. I may have rolled my eyes then, but I'm certainly not now. My mom and dad would look back on pictures taken years ago and comment about how quickly life goes by. I would nod my head like I understood, but I didn't really get it. Now, I realize it's not just the years that go by quickly, it's five years, and then suddenly a decade.
My dad dreamed big dreams of his own, and also had big dreams for me and my older brother and sister. He truly believed we could do anything that we put our minds to doing, and he didn't want our fear of failure to be a stumbling block as we pursued those dreams. As a kid this applied to sports and pursuing higher education, but it's had an even bigger impact on me as an adult, as I'm pursuing my bachelors degree in marketing. Just knowing someone else believes in you, helps you belief in yourself.
What's funny is that when I look back on my younger years, I see stupid mistakes, but when I look in the mirror now, I see resilience, learned lessons, and most importantly pride in myself.
