College has always been what kids look forward to. It is a time of freedom from parents where you begin a life of somewhat independence. But, as students, and myself in particular, progress through the academic years, we realize adulthood is not so far away; and that is a scary thought.

Honestly, I am not an adult by any means. When I was young, I thought all 20 year olds were adults. Now that I'm 20, I feel like a lost child at a supermarket, waiting for someone to help and give me ice cream, telling me it's going to be, "okay."

Don't get me wrong, I like responsibility and I like doing things on my own. But, being an adult is about understanding general knowledge about the real world. Sorry, college students, college isn't the real-world. I don't know about you, but I never learned how to file taxes, or how insurance or any of that works, in high school. So growing up and learning about my major is great, but I'm not going to be a successful adult if I can't figure out how to pay taxes and how to get a good credit score.

Additionally, I think everyone at some point in their life reaches a certain moment when they feel like a grown up. It's that one event or choice you make where you feel a sense of maturity and control. It's a great feeling because it gives a sense of responsibility and a kind of empowerment over your own life. I like that feeling. I like knowing that I can do things on my own and that I'll be okay.

I also like the feeling of pure happiness. Being a kid, you get that. You are able to smile at the world and just be happy with everything around you.

I want that feeling of growing up to fill my body, but I also want to feel free and pure like a kid again. Growing up has a negative connotation adjacent to it, that lets us believe adulting is boring. The stereotypes placed on grown ups shows that they will never feel that free-spirited life again, as kids do. I don't want that stereotypical life. I want a life filled with excitement, where I can create memories and get that same type of joy as kids do.

I understand that adults have their own memories they make, whether with their children or spouse or whomever, but I want a life filled with memories that don't involve the office. I dread the day when I come home to my beautiful wife and tell her I was ecstatic because the office finally got chairs that spin. No. I want to create a life worth living. Suli Breaks said, "It's good to make an honest living, but honestly, are you honestly living." To think that it is true that our lives become boring when we grow up is one of the scariest aspects of being an adult.

We all have different views of adulthood, but we still all want to succeed at being an adult. Which means the scariest part of growing up is failing. When you're a grown up there isn't any trying, there is only getting it right. If I try at life, I'm going nowhere. I have to work hard for what I want. And the scariest part of growing up is the thought that I will work as hard as I can and I still not achieve my goals. It's a risk we all have to take and you can't pull a Peter Pan and go to Never Land to hang with a fairy. I look at my parents and all their hard work they do just to give me the life I have. I want to give that to my kids, and the thought of that not happening is terrifying.

I aim for a life like, "the most interesting man in the world." I know that is only a commercial, but the idea of creating an interesting and tremendous life seems goal-worthy. There are different ways of being happy in life, all of which are achievable. I just think the best life is the one where you develop stories that you can share. In college, so many amazing memories are made and you meet so many amazing people. It's sad to think that after that is over it's going to be hard to make as many fantastic memories. At the end of my life I want to say that I personally felt like I lived it.

Watching my friends graduate from their respective colleges, I realize that I am scared to grow up. It's a whole new world where you can't get away with using improper grammar and have to intelligently articulate the syntax of all your sentences. It's the time in your life when you decide what you need versus what you want and how hard you are willing to work to get both. Being an adult is terrifying and fantastic all at the same time. College is the gateway to adulthood, but I want to enjoy it now before I grow up too fast.