I am a perfect product of society's imperfect image of beauty. As the years have gone by, I have learned to become neutral about my appearance.
I have portrayed myself with styles I did not fit into. I have resulted to tears and hopelessness over the way I look an uncountable amount of times. For years I felt as though I do not belong.
I cared so much about what others thought of me and the way I was displayed to the world. My unhealthy obsession of being perfect to everyone around me began to become unbearable. The way I looked became the only thing that mattered to me. I had completely lost a sense of who I was.
I felt trapped with no possible escape, so it seemed.
Safe to say, the way I look to not just myself but to others mattered to me. One part of my body I seem to have never accepted would be my hair. My straggly, coarse, curly, boring hair. Hair that seemed not only unmanageable, but also unattractive and bland. At a young age I started straightening my hair to extinguish the horrid looking curls I have been so blessed with.
My body, much like my hair became the one thing I could express myself with. My hair of course became the most useful way for me to specify how I am feeling in a particular point of time. I began changing my hair to fit who I wanted to be. Highlights and layers soon turned into straight across bangs and a full out dye job. I partly did this to jump out of my comfort zone, but I need to figure who I am.
I have been brainwashed by society and the people around me by not accepting who I am.
I need to learn how to not change myself for others.
I need to fully accept myself regardless of the way I am portrayed to my peers.