We have not really been okay. And we really do not understand why. We do not understand why people turn their heads away when we try talking to them. Or just simply ignore us to begin with. We try be okay. We try our hardest to be there for anybody that needs it. It is hard. When all we do is push people away because we feel like they are just going to hurt us. But in the end It is us that gets hurt because we are the ones left being and feeling alone.
Not only are we judged when we try talking to others, we feel the whole world cave in on us. So we stop talking because it's hard. It is hard to talk to others when It feels like the everybody just wants to turn away from you. It is like having people but not wanting to go to them because you do not want to waste their time. It is like holding everything in just until you cannot anymore. All your emotions are piled into so many different things. Just for them to burst when you cannot hold them in anymore.
It is hard to cope with, when you push others out, and expecting them to know you need someone to talk to. Maybe just to tell someone hey or anything inparticular because having someone there is so important. Being able to cope with the happiness of your friends presents and going home later to cry is hard.
We feel like everything is a lie. We are so tied down because others look so annoyed by our presents, so we try not to say much. We try our hardest to make friends, but they come and go and we never can just find someone to be there. Or be good friends with. We can never just have a bestfriend because they choose someone else over us. So we get rundown and feel useless. It is like going to someone but nobody listening.