I figured what better way to start my time at Odyssey than by filleting my heart open, exposing my fears for the world to see, and calling myself out. If I start here everything else will just get easier right? We'll see. Between where I work and being a millennial, I am constantly surrounded by giant personalities that seem to quickly outshine my reserved soul. They are creatives of all varieties: musicians, craftsmen, designers, writers, poets, story-tellers, and builders, people that were created to be creative, original, and innovative, and then there are those that aspire to be a part of that community. I, by choice, land somewhere in the middle, but I am not naive enough to believe that I am standing in this in-between on my own. Now, you may be asking why I am hanging out in this "in-between." The answer? Fear. The fear of being creative, in fact. The fear that someone may compare me to other creatives and what if I'm not prolific enough to keep up? The fear that someone will see more of me than I wanted them to through my creative outlet.

After much research, okay really like five minutes on Google, I discovered there isn't a technical term for the fear of being creative so I made one up myself: Creophobia. You're welcome, Merriam-Webster.

I think I started keeping a diary or journal of some sorts in the second or third grade like most elementary girls do, but instead of my desire to vomit everything in my brain onto paper pattering out, it became almost an addiction, and at times, felt like it was the only way I was going to make it. It went from scrawling out what boy I had a crush on and recording the latest drama at the monkey bars to actually writing out what was going on in my heart and soul. Writing has helped me to conquer so much in my life and it's been one of my greatest weapons against anxiety and insecurities. My latest challenge has been, "so why hide it?" Just because I am an introverted, internal processor does not mean that I don't have a voice that can't be heard and make a difference and it's time to step out from behind those masks that I hide behind and step into the truth that I too was created to be a creative and it's time to share my gifts. And in my world, that seems so full of overbearing voices, what better way to display my creativity than through a space like this one? It's time to escape this creophobia. So, introverted creatives, instead of standing on the fringes, let's go join our extroverted counterparts and let our voices be heard in our own ways. Our opinions matter despite their volume.

This is where I landed after my personal pep-talk about joining this community, so I figured I would share: Every once in awhile you should agree to do something that terrifies you. Then don't feel bad about rewarding yourself with pie. Here's to this new adventure!