1. This is great, why did I ever move out?
2. There's free food! In a fully-stocked fridge!
3. I forgot what it was like to have TV channels other than PBS and the channel guide.
4. How did I ever think my $25 mattress-topper from Bed Bath ever come close to the pure divinity of my bed at home?
5. It's been three days and I have already irreparably altered my sleep schedule.
6. Love all my school friends, but damn did I miss my home friends.
7. Oh car, I've missed you so.
8. Oh god, there's leftover trash from winter break.
9. Oh my god why am I so vile?
10. Okay, trash is gone, time to air out my car for the next seven millennia.
11. Wow do all malls have such wide open spaces? I forgot what it's like to shop with more than seven inches between you and other clientele.
12. Oh right! There are people in this world under the age of 18!
13. Ugh, why is it a rite of passage for middle schoolers to plague the mall? Who decided that anyway?
14. I was never this annoying at that age....
15. I hope....
16. Did older kids hate me? Was I that tween?
17. Okay, it's been ten days and I've watched the entire season of Younger and all seven seasons of Parks and Rec.
18. I wonder if I should attempt to unpack all my stuff from school.
19. I mean really, what's the point? I'm going to need to pack it all up in a few months anyway.
20. Sorry, Mom.
21. It's been four days since I last went outside. Is this unhealthy? Asking for a friend.
22. My school friends are back on campus and are freely Snapchatting their adventures.
23. The FOMO is hurting. A lot.
24. It's fine! I'm having fun at home. Lots of free food to eat and Netflix to watch while your home friends are at work and your school friends are brunching and shopping!
25. I've been to the mall sixteen times so far this summer and I never want to see another Piercing Pagoda in my life.
26. How many days until move in?
27. Hello August!!
28. Wait, I've wasted an entire two months of my life.
29. No wonder everyone's grandparents hate the youth.
30. The most interesting thing I've done this summer is watch a documentary on the creation of cults.
31. I would like to create a cult that worships wine. That must be a thing.
32. Dear God, it's me, Kristin. Help me to make it through these last two weeks without actually dying of sheer boredom.
33. I went to a bonfire last night and now I have about seventy-four mosquito bites on my ankles alone.
34. I wonder if my parents actually like having me home, or if I am instead just tolerated, like a hobo outside a Dairy Queen.
35. Oh my, all my friends are leaving for school and I am of course the last to leave.
36. I'm so glad I never unpacked, it really made my life so much easier. See, Mom?!
37. It's my last night home and I can almost taste the cheap, frat-basement beer.
38. I feel like choosing your last meal at home is akin to choosing your last meal on death row.
39. It's 3 a.m. and I can't sleep from all of my excitement.
40. Goodbye, parents and stable WiFi! See you at Thanksgiving!
