Whether they’re romantic, platonic, or familial; whether they end mutually or not; whether they were on good or bad terms – the end of a relationship you were deeply invested in cuts just as deep (Cue Sheryl Crow singing in the background). Here are my top songs for the occasion and the reasons I’ve picked them. Obviously I couldn't include everything, so it's mostly indie, alternative, and a little pop punk. Hopefully no one starts crying. Okay, hopefully I don’t start crying.
1. "Without You" by Oh Wonder
Why?: Cause I'm kicking up stones without you/ Can't pick up the phone without you/ I'm a little bit lost without you - It's that hopeless feeling, as if even doing the simplest things are impossible. Everyone kind of gets sick of your whining, but you just can't stop moping. Don't worry, it gets better.
2. "Make It Without You" by Andrew Belle
Why?: This is the starting of my greatest fear/ I'm all packed up, getting out of here - The singer keeps telling himself he can move on, but deep down he feels like that is a lie. They need to regain their independence and confidence, which is always hard after a falling out. It's always scary to be alone.
3. "Look What You've Done" by Jet
Why?: Give me back my point of view/ 'Cause I just can't think for you - This is for everyone who's let themselves be so consumed by someone else that they start losing themselves - their beliefs, their morals, their opinions. In the fallout you wonder how much of you is really you, rather than just a you molded by them.
4. "What Breaks My Heart" by Parachute
Why?: See, there's a chance in never knowing/ There's a hope in holding on/ To finally know you'll never love me/ If I'm honest... That's what breaks my heart - This is for the almost's, the what-if's, the ones that were doomed to fail from the start. We've all been there - been friends with someone we were warned about, dated someone we knew was interested in someone else, had someone we tried our best to make love us...
5. "Gone Away" by Safetysuit
Why?: I think about time/ A luxury so hard to find/ And I just can't figure out why/ I wasted it all here without you - The singer is talking about a love they've lost and the regrets they have for all that could have been if things were different. It's less sad and more introspective, which I find nice. Times when we're the saddest are when we're most open to change. If anyone's watched 5 Centimeters Per Second, try watching it with this in mind.
6. "Say Something" by A Great Big World
Why?: And I... will swallow my pride/ You're the one that I love/ And I'm saying goodbye - Everyone knows this song, it was the heartbreak anthem a couple years back. Sometimes you just have to walk away when the other person isn't putting 100% into the relationship like you are. There's no shame in calling it quits and protecting your heart.
7. "Just Another Girl" by The Killers
Why?: All of my friends say/ She's just another girl/ Then why can't I sleep at night/ And why don't the moon look right - But sometimes one person does become your whole world, whether you like it or not and when they're gone, it's like time has stopped and your life is on pause.
8. "Hate (I Really Don't Like You)" by The Plain White T's
Why?: You were everything I wanted/ You were everything a girl could be/ Then you left me broken hearted/ Now you don't mean a thing to me - Okay so this firmly moves from sadness to just plain old anger. It's when you're just so done with a person you can't even stand to waste your anger on them (and it frustrates you when you do).
9. "The Ghost of You" by My Chemical Romance
Why?: And all the things that you never ever told me/ And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me/ Never coming home - This song always makes me think of the people I've lost who really are gone. Sometimes we have time to grieve their absence, sometimes we don't. And this is the result of the latter building up for too long.
10. "When You're Gone" by Avril Lavigne
Why?: When you're gone/ The pieces of my heart are missing you - She wrote the song while grieving for her grandfather, but I've found, like all songs, it's meaning can be versatile. Whether the person has passed away or left, and no matter what type of relationship you had with them, they always take a part of you with them.
11. "Ruby" by Foster the People
Why?: She's got a fistful of tears held back by the strength of five/ And she says, "Happiness ain't free/ Everybody fights just like me/ But I've given up the ability to retreat" - Ruby's life is what makes the song so sad, but her spirit is so admirable. After everything that she's lost or left behind, she's still trying to get back on her feet. We have to always keep trying as well.
12. "All Too Well" by Taylor Swift
Why?: And I know it's long gone/ And there was nothing else I could do/ And I forget about you long enough/ To forget why I needed to... - Say what you want about T-Swizzle, but the girl knows how to write a sad song. A lot of the lyrics really resonated with me about past friendships - I wonder if they still have that hat I lent them or that mix CD we used to play in the car?
13. "My Friends Over You" by New Found Glory
Why?: And it’s all right to forget/ That we still talk/ Its just for fun, isn’t it/ It’s my fault that it fell apart - So yeah, this totally isn't your typical sad song, but it is pretty sad that the dude led a girl on. I totally feel for her. But even then, he's trying to make it right by being friends and she's just not having it. They're both trying to make the best of a bad situation, but sometimes it's impossible to recover what you had and just move on.
14. "Do You Realize?" by The Flaming Lips
Why?: And instead of saying all of your goodbyes, let them know/ You realize that life goes fast/ It's hard to make the good things last - This was always the most depressing song for me since I first heard it in 50 First Dates. I think the lyrics are pretty self-explanatory. Hold on to what makes you happy before it's gone.
15. "Sound of Your Heart" by Shawn Hook
Why?: I'm missing the sound of your heart beating - The music video is absolutely amazing at capturing the emotion Shawn Hook pumps out in this song - love, heartbreak, devastation, grief. It's all there. It leaves you wistful of the past and a little more hopeless when it comes to thinking about what's next for you.
Bonus: "The First Cut is the Deepest" by Sheryl Crow
(Yes this is a pun. Please laugh.)
I'm not an expert on analyzing sad songs and I know this isn't the most comprehensive list, but they're just my go-to beats for when I lose people I care about in some way. I hope this comforts someone else out there because I find that even the saddest songs can help you out if you listen hard enough (or long enough).
