Relationships suck. However, relationships can also be a beautiful thing if you play your cards right!
Though I am only the ripe age of 18, I have learned quite a but when it comes to relationships. I am here to give you tips that I wish someone would have told me when I was younger!
(Full Disclosure: Everyone is different and is going to have different preferences. These are some tips that have helped me through the years! By all means, do your own thing!)
Crushes
DON'T
Do not assume things from your crush. Sometimes being blunt and forward is the best choice to make things clear and precise between the both of you. When you first start talking to someone it is okay to not know everything, but eventually you can both make it clear how you feel about each other.
Overthinking kills everything! I am the biggest over thinker, and I can tell you first hand that it ruins a moment. Instead of focusing on your thoughts, focus on your crush. Notice the little things they do, like how they laugh at your jokes or react to certain things around them.
"Don't be nervous." I know what you're thinking, "I just won't get nervous, thanks!" What I mean by this, is don't get caught up in your nerves. Try to take a deep breathe and realize you are just two kids who like each other.
DO
To my ladies, it is the 21st century and we are allowed to pursue boys! There is no reason why you cannot initiate the first contact and reach out to whomever you may be interested in. A simple introduction and a little forwardness will show your crush that you are interesting and confident.
Focus on the good! After a cute date or interaction with your crush, focus on the things that went well. Notice all the things you like about your crush and this will help not to let negative thoughts into your head.
Let yourself have fun! Crushes are fun and don't always have to be serious. Be silly, let loose, and be your full self around them.
Friendships
DON'T
Do not jump to conclusions. This will kill a friendship so very quickly. Instead of automatically assuming, for example a rumor, go to your friend and ask if what you heard is true.
New friends can be so fun! However, if you are ever uncomfortable in a situation, it is TOTALLY OKAY TO SAY NO. Do not feel obligated to do what everyone else is doing to look "cool." That's overrated, just be yourself and stick to your guns.
Push friends away. Especially in times of need, you need your friends more than ever. Pushing your friends away makes them distant and worried about you. They may even be agitated at you. If you are a person like me who needs alone time, just let them know this in a nice way.
DO
Friends are a mysterious things and it is common to have different friends for different things. Don't be afraid to have lots of friendships.
Branch out! Having friends from different groups can be so fun. Different groups will be interested in different things, letting you have the opportunity to try lots of different things.
Be an honest and caring person. I love the quote, "do onto other's as you would want them to do to you." This is basically saying, treat people like you would want to be treated.
Young Love
Let me first say that young love can come in so many forms. Keep in mind that no two loves are the same! This is a difficult concept to comprehend, but over time you will learn!
DON'T
Don't be in a hurry! Let things come organically in a relationship. This can be a difficult thing sometimes, especially when you like to be in control (can relate!) Instead of trying to force steps and intimacy, be in the moment and let those things come.
Again, overthinking kills everything! Go with the flow, be present with your partner, and do not be afraid to try new things. Romanticizing your dates may help, and you could also try to take a few deep breaths and let go!
Be afraid to say no. Before getting into a relationship, set personal boundaries for yourself. This can be anything, from where you are willing to go with a stranger, to what you are wanting to do physically. You should also talk about relationship boundaries with your partner.
DO
Be bold. People are drawn to confident individuals. Take a leap of faith and jump into young love! You will go through a million heartbreaks until you find the right one. Remember that everything happens for a reason, you've got this!
Communication is key. This sounds cheesy but is so vital to any relationship. Talking about your concerns, fears, day-to-day activities, and emotions is so crucial to a healthy relationship. No detail is too small!
Honesty. I cannot stress how far honesty can go in any given situation. If two people are not honest with each other in a relationship, there is no possibility of a strong foundation. Vulnerability can be difficult, however, honesty makes relationships real and worthwhile.
TO RECAP...
No two relationships are the same. What works for one person might not work for another. Love is not easy! It takes time, patience, and vulnerability, all very difficult traits to master. Take your time and enjoy yourself.
Don't be afraid to be young, dumb, and in love.
