We've all thought about what it might be like to be born with a disability. And for most of us, the thought itself seems, well, terrifying. Imagining a world where you could see nothing but darkness--day in and day out, or a life where you couldn't run across a field and feel the warm, heavy earth beneath you--all sounds pretty sad, right?

Well December 3rd was The International Day for Persons with Disabilities, aimed at promoting empowerment, inclusion and reducing inequalities in society. It's aimed at minimizing the discrimination disabled persons face, and the stigmas surrounding disabilities. And while I think we are certainly moving towards a more all-inclusive society, there are still leaps and bounds of progress to be made.

So today I want to talk about The Disability Paradox.

We often wrongly assume that individuals with functional impairments tend to face more misery. Which is why I feel like the general society meets disabilities with pity. Not empathy, but pity. Pity towards an undesirable daily life. Which is understandable- it's easy to empathize with your friend going through a breakup, but how can you possible understand the feelings and emotions of someone who is completely different from you?

Let me help you out--they feel almost exactly the same way you do. Disabled persons do not spend their days wallowing in self-pity and in fact that is what the disability paradox is based on--a group of studies which indicate that despite the negative bias, disabled people report having the same or even a better quality of life than a fully-able person. There is a scientific explanation for this, its called hedonic adaptation, defined as the observed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes. Disabled persons are able to maintain social relationships, work-life balances and a healthy level of life satisfaction just as well as we are.

So the next time you meet someone who is different from you--whether its a learning, physical or invisible disability, remember, they don't want to be treated any differently. They don't want to be told that they are 'inspiring' or 'strong' just for living with a disability. They want to be told they are inspiring because of all their other achievements.

However difficult it may be rid yourself of stigmas as you interact with them, you will realize their quality of life isn't very different from yours- they still have their share of fun and problems and successes. They dont live 'an amazing life for a disabled person', they live amazing lives, period. I mean Beethoven went deaf at 28 but he still wrote his 9th Symphony and Stephen Hawking's ASL didn't stop him from anything.

It just goes to show that there really is no formula for happiness. Vince Lombardi once rightly said "It is not what we can or can’t do but what we do with what we have that makes the difference."