Decisions, Decisions

Decisions, Decisions

From chinese food to college.

I’ve lived in the same small town, Shrub Oak, for almost my entire life. Long enough that I can’t remember living anywhere else, or even moving here. A lifetime within a single town has certain benefits, even though Shrub Oak can feel suffocatingly small. I instinctually maneuver my car to avoid pretty much every pothole, I always have a direct plan of attack upon entering the grocery store, and the woman at my favorite take-out place knows my voice on the phone and hands me my order without thinking when I walk inside.

One of the best perks of knowing my hometown so well, is knowing the best, and in my opinion, only place to get Chinese food. Despite knowing that Golden House is the best, and my family’s weekly habit of ordering from there, I still find it impossible to decide what I want to order. I inevitably end up ordering the same meal, an egg roll, a soup if I’m not feeling well, and a roast pork with mixed vegetables. Thoughts of sesame, orange, or sweet and sour chicken always flood my mind and tempt my tastebuds. I deliberate over whether lo mein or fried rice will be filling enough as opposed to the possibility of chicken and broccoli and my mouth waters along with a grumbling stomach. And even though I always end up with the same food in front of me when all’s said and done, it never stops me from an hour’s worth of contemplating.

From all of this you’re probably thinking that I’m a pretty indecisive person, and in terms of the little things, I am. At 18 years old, I still do not have a set shampoo and conditioner that I always buy. Going to Starbucks is always a struggle about whether it’s a coffee or tea kind of day, hot or iced, flavored or plain, an extra shot of espresso or is it too late in the day for caffeine. My daily decision making debates are constant and never ending. Left or right, short cut or the long way, what to wear, what to eat, nothing is simple.

Strangely enough, I find no need for pros and cons lists or debates or even doubts when it comes to the big stuff, though. I feel like the opposite of most as I inspect every side of trivial things such as whether to buy cinnamon or honey graham crackers, while easily determining the crucial parts of my journey into adulthood as I start to shape my life and my future. Somehow, the inconsequential questions, like making the decision over what to order from the local Chinese restaurant are the hardest and most daunting decisions I ever have have to make. You might think that this feat would be far surpassed by the stress of the college process or the pressure of knowing what to do with the rest of my life, but those decisions seemed to fall into place fairly easily, almost like a calling.

I may never know what to get when we order Chinese, but I have somehow made the most important decisions of how to start the course of my life away from Shrub Oak with an almost scary ease. I have decided that I am in love with studying chemistry and that I will follow through on that passion by devoting my college career to it, I have decided that Hamilton College is my next home (a no-brainer), I have decided that going to medical school to pursue a career in surgery is my ultimate goal and dream. I have made these big, seemingly scary decisions based on the feeling that it’s just right, and yet, my next Chinese food order is still a mystery.

So, here I go, to make a new home and to start my journey and I’m so excited and so sure of the path I’ve chosen

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To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.


So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?



Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

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After 'Extremely Wicked' And 'The Stranger Beside Me,' We Now Understand The Criminal Mind Of Ted Bundy

1 hour and 50 minutes, plus 550 pages later.


Netflix recently released a movie in May called "Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil, and Vile" (2019), based on the life of Ted Bundy from his girlfriend's viewpoint.

In 1980, an author and former Seattle police officer, Ann Rule, published a book about her experience and personal, close friendship with Ted Bundy, called "The Stranger Beside Me."

These two sources together create an explosion of important information we either skim over or ignore about Ted Bundy. Watching this movie and reading this book can really open your eyes to who Ted Bundy really was. Yeah, there are the confession tapes on Netflix, too, but these other things can really tie it all into one big masterpiece of destruction.

I swear, it will blow your mind in different ways you never thought possible.

In the movie, "Extremely Wicked", Zac Efron stars as the infamous Ted Bundy, America's most notorious serial killer. He portrayed the murderer who kidnapped, killed, and raped 30 women or more. Personally, he made a great Ted Bundy, mannerisms and all. Lily Collins stars as Ted's girlfriend who was easily manipulated by Ted and believed that he was innocent for years.

The movie is told in the order that Liz, Ted's girlfriend, remembers.

In the book, "The Stranger Beside Me", Ann Rule writes about Ted Bundy, who used to be her old friend. They met while working at a crisis center in the state of Washington and were close ever since. Like Liz, Ann believed he was innocent and that he was incapable of these horrific crimes.

Ted Bundy had made both Liz and Ann fools. He easily manipulated and lied to both women about many things for years, his murders being "one" of them.

Okay, so we all know that Ted Bundy was absolutely guilty as hell and totally murdered those women. 30 women or more. He literally confessed to that, but researchers and authorities believe that number to be way higher.

But... you must know that the movie and the book tell two different stories that lead to the same ending. That's why it's so intriguing.

At one point, I couldn't stop watching the movie. Then, I bought Ann Rule's book and was completely attached to it. I couldn't put it down.

For me, Ted Bundy is interesting to me. Unlike most young girls today, I don't have a thing for him nor do I think he's cute or hot. I know that he used his charm and looks to lure women into his murderous trap. That's why it's so hard to understand why this movie and book created a new generation of women "falling in love" with Ted Bundy.

GROSS: He sodomized women with objects. He bludgeoned women with objects or his own hands. He was a necrophile. Look those up if you have not a clue of what they mean. That could change your mind about your own feelings for Ted Bundy.

After "Extremely Wicked" and "The Stranger Beside Me", I now understand the criminal mind of Ted Bundy. He was insane, but he was also smart, put together, educated, charming, and lots more. That's why I'm so interested in why his brain was the way it was.

The criminal mind is an interesting topic for me anyway, but for Ted Bundy, it was amazing to learn about.

I highly recommend both the movie and the book I quickly read in two weeks! If you want answers, they are there.

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