Very loosely based on a true story:

There were nine American exchange students in Germany with their teacher, who was from the country himself. The students were Nick, arguably the best speaker of German in the group; Hugo, the pretty-eyed boy; Sarah, the second scariest, though she looked like a twelve-year-old boy; Emma, artist extraordinaire; Katherine, also an expert of the arts yet scarier than Sarah; Lin, the shy girl with a heart of gold; Josh, the youngest and most optimistic; Kaity, the nature girl; Jordan, who really really really liked horses. That just leaves Herr Smith, the exasperated teacher stuck on a bus with his nine crazy students. As they were traveling by bus, they came across a detour through the Schwarzwald...the Black Forest. Not thinking this was anything out of the ordinary, they chose to follow it.

However, as they were traveling, the path became darker and darker. Finally, they drove through a dark tunnel of trees. The lights on the bus flickered, and someone screamed. As they emerged from the tunnel, the bus spluttered and died. The bus driver went to get help, and as he disappeared into the forest he seemed to fade from existence.

As they waited out the hours, Herr Smith became impatient, and also fed up with the cooped up high schoolers. He also went to get help. But not even two minutes later, a bloodcurdling screech echoed through the forest. The nine rushed out of the bus to a grisly sight; chunks of flesh scattered among the trees and the ground watered with blood. It was all that was left of Herr Smith. Someone screamed in terror and in the light of day, the group could see it was one of their own, Hugo. The rest of them shivered.

Despite the terror of losing the only adult guidance they had and the stomach-churning sight that greeted them right off the bus, the students decided it would be best to explore, splitting into groups of three to cover more ground. The tunnel of trees had mysteriously disappeared behind them, so there was no traveling that way. They had three groups and three directions.

Here we follow the adventures of Nick, Hugo, and Sarah:

As they wandered into the woods, Hugo would not stop his barrage complaining. Nick got tired of him and kept walking off further and further. Sarah heard his screams and whipped around, a knife appearing in her hand out of nowhere, and watched him be dragged away by a large hairy creature with huge horns and terrifying claws. She gasped as his leg was torn from his body with a wet squelch and a spurt of blood. Hugo wandered over just then, walking directly into the stream of Nick’s blood. He screamed again, more concerned with the blood on him than the monster vanishing with Nick in tow.

Meanwhile, Emma, Katherine, and Lin headed off in a different direction. Their part of the forest seemed even darker than the rest, which surely meant it was the way out. The trees were oddly branchless, except near the very top. The ground was messy with foliage and branches. All three of them jumped at a skittering in the bush and decided to draw straws to see who had to go investigate. Katherine ended up with the short straw and she cautiously wandered off. Emma and Lin waited for a little while, but after hearing sounds of a struggle they elected to explore. However, they found no sign of Katherine, despite calling out for her in a move that really wasn’t a good one. They gave up, convinced they’ve lost yet another friend to the evil forest.

Let’s check on Josh, Kaity, and Jordan.

Josh kept up a steady stream of chatter as he lead the way, excitedly pointing out every new thing they encountered. Most of these things were deadly, including but not limited to; steep cliffs, a tree that appeared to have a glaring face with vicious teeth, and a large bear in the distance that looked suspiciously like it had horns. Despite these dangers, their part of the forest looked the most promising. Eventually, an odd silence filled the forest. At first, Kaity and Jordan noticed the difference as a relief, both tiring of Josh’s neverending talking, but then they realized that he was probably in trouble. They called out to him, which was a lot more successful than Emma and Lin’s attempt to call Katherine. As they heard him call back, they crashed through the forest, finding him crouched over a berry bush. He was about to eat one when Kaity cried “No!” dramatically, tackling Josh as she recognized the bush from her camp counselor days. “That’s a death berry. A berry of death. It will kill you!' Jordan cursed quietly in the background. Kaity was thankful that they were all still alive, and despite their progress decided to turn them around, because this wasn’t a democracy.

When they return, they heard the tales of horror that befell the other groups. Everyone was impressed that no one in Liz, Josh, and Jordan’s group died.

Now they had to decide what to do next, and Sarah had come up with an idea. She pulled out four knives of varying sizes, two flares, a rope, and an ancient tome bound in human skin out of the endless pockets of her cargo pants. About 50 Euros in change fell out as well because Sarah was pretty much a leprechaun. “Let’s look at this!” She held up the tome.

They look up the forest, because a random book from Sarah’s collection conveniently had a ton of information on it, and learned about the monster Krampus. They agreed he was the biggest threat and probably killed Herr Smith and Nick. They resolved to set a trap for him. So they tied Josh to a tree and slathered him with honey to make him smell more delicious. Then, carrying various weapons acquired from Sarah, the others hid out in the trees, waiting for Krampus.

However, they all got knocked out and kidnapped by the Lady Finger Cannibals before he could show. Which was very rude. Who were these cannibals to interrupt a perfectly good Scooby-Doo style monster ambush?

The six woke up to the smell of barbeque, and they were hungry until they realize that it was Emma that smelled so good. They all panicked when the cannibals came back to cook someone else until someone pushed their way through the crowd. It was Katherine, dressed in the same rough clothing and warpaint as the rest of the cannibals. She saved them in the nick of time, and the tribe fed them meat that everyone already forgot was Emma.

During the meal Katherine became pretty chummy with the remains of the nine, so the cannibals made her kill one of the group to prove her loyalty to them. She gazed regretfully at them, but not too regretfully because she plunged her hand into Kaity’s chest and tore out her still-beating heart. Everyone screamed as they were covered in blood (again) and Katherine let out a savage yell before biting into the raw, still beating heart. Which was totally plausible, because not only is this a fictional story but it was also the Schwartzwald. Reality was screwy here. Anyway, they all ran away, and the cannibals killed Katherine because she scared away their food.

So now that we’ve killed off all the cute artsy people, let’s look for the satanic artsy person with knives in her pocket. Sarah was the only one to get separated from the group. She wandered aimlessly until it started to rain, but only directly above her part of the forest. The others were perfectly dry. Sarah found shelter in a dark cave she conveniently stumbled upon.

However, this turned out to be a mistake (surprise), which Sarah realized when she stepped on a ribcage. An old, scary witch emerged from the shadows, all green smoke, and bad hair. She yelled at Sarah for disturbing her rest for a good ten minutes before threatening to eat her. Sarah, who witnessed more people being devoured in the last few hours than anyone should in a lifetime, asked if she could do the witch a favor instead. The witch decided that’s okay, and sent Sarah in search of a rare flower. Sarah braced herself, drawing her three largest knives and placing one in between her teeth. She fought in the Other Vietnam war. She could fetch a measly flower. She walked off into the rain, never to be seen again. We can assume she fell prey to one of the many dangers of the forest.

Cutscene back to the rest of the group, who were trying to find their way out of the cannibal’s territory. At this point, it was just Hugo, Lin, Jordan, and Josh. Josh was wandering off, as per usual, when he set off a trap. The others heard a thump and suddenly four giant spears flew toward him and Lin. Heroically, Lin pushed Josh out of the way, but was stabbed in the chest and pinned to a tree. Thoroughly freaked, the survivors took off running, still not out of dangerous cannibal territory. When they finally reached safety, they collapsed. Exhausted by terror and physical exertion, they fell asleep.

Hugo woke up first and wanted to explore the lake they had fallen asleep next to, which definitely wasn’t there when they fell asleep (not suspicious...not at all). He didn’t notice that he was walking into the water until he was waist deep in it. That was when he noticed the singing. But it was too late and the mermaids pounced and dragged him to the bottom of the lake. Once he drowned, they ate him, because that’s the circle of life and everything ate everything in this forest.

Josh and Jordan woke up and promptly forgot about Hugo, and they started to make their way back to the bus, hoping that Sarah and her weapons were there. Mostly, they wished for Sarah’s weapons. The Schwarzwald was a much more dangerous place than any of them had given it credit for. It was almost like something in the forest was trying to prove them wrong.

Jordan lead the way, and if it wasn’t obvious before that she was the one killing everyone, it was now. She enchanted a tree, which came to life and stabbed Josh through the chest with one of its branches, then drew him in and swallowed him whole. Jordan laughed evilly as the tree ripped out of the ground by its roots and lumbered off. Her plan was complete, and she transformed into the evil forest elf she was all along. It was her that made the detour, vanished the bus driver, created the Krampus, filled the forest with poisonous berries, kidnapped the cannibals to bring them to the forest, made a deal with the witch to hang around for a few nights, set the traps, and conjured the lake filled with mermaids. It took a lot of magic, but she was willing to do anything for the sport of killing, and proving once and for all that the Schwarzwald was not to be trifled with.

Suddenly, she sensed something with her elf senses. She headed towards a large cliff that Josh pointed out earlier, where she found Herr Smith standing dramatically. That he wasn't dead was a shock, but Jordan was impressed with his resilience. They faced off, Jordan in her forest garb and Herr Smith in cut off shorts, a bearskin cloak, and holding a spear, which he likely killed the bear with. After a second glance, Jordan realized that the bearskin was actually Krampus-skin. “I’ve finally done it. They’re all dead and I’m free.” He gazed out over the forest, and Jordan snuck up behind him and pushed him off the cliff. He didn’t scream. He was too relieved.

Jordan stood triumphantly for a full thirty seconds before collapsing to the ground. She realized then that Kaity knew from the beginning that Jordan was trying to kill everyone all along. Before she could warn them, she was killed by Katherine, who because she ate Kaity’s heart knew what Kaity knew and poisoned Jordan’s food. It was all very convoluted. As Jordan slowly and painfully died on the clifftop, the story of nine was finished.