The Day I Fought For Love Against My College Professor

The Day I Fought For Love Against My College Professor

Perhaps the problem is this, those who do not believe in love, will never be able to experience it's magic.


"Teach your teacher," he said.

But he wasn't willing to learn.

First, you should know a little about how I operate. I am kind. I am respectful. And I am open minded. I go to class and out into daily life knowing that there is so much yet for me to learn. I'm well aware that there are gaps in my knowledge filled with pure ignorance. But at the same time, I am deeply passionate about what I do know and believe in. I am feisty, and I am very stubborn.

I may be a 4'10 blonde little pipsqueak, but I am filled with courage. "Though she be but little, she is fierce." As Shakespeare would say, I have a spirit not of timidity but one that roars like that of a lion. Although I absolutely despise making a scene, and prefer to live in constant peace with those around me. To me, there are just somethings that are worth fighting for. Especially those things that we are most passionate about and those that keep our hearts beating. For me, my greatest passion in this world is, LOVE.

I preach love. I speak love. I breathe love. And most importantly, I believe in love.

So as I sat and listened to my professor emphasize the importance of boundaries in relationships, yet did not even mention the importance of love, I started to feel very uneasy.

So here was the scenario. We were talking about relationships. My professor proposed that each of us should come up with a list of ten per say, "deal breakers" in a partner. Then he suggested that we pick five of these that should be established as absolute non negotiable attributes.

And in my mind up to this point, I more or less agreed with him. I've been through my fair share of therapy by now to realize the importance of boundaries. I respect them. I understand them. And yet, I still believe this:

LOVE knows no boundaries.

Love is patient, and love is kind. Love is healing. And love is the most magical thing this world has to offer.

So as we continued our class discussion, the example of non negotiable behavior given, was drugs and alcohol. Our professor proposed that if someone broke this boundary and got involved with drugs and alcohol that we should drop them, break up with them. Save yourself the heartbreak. Just let them go.

And this, this is when I started to feel the fire ignite inside my soul.

I couldn't help but think, what if they are worth the heartbreak? What if a living, breathing, imperfect, human being with a beating heart, and a purpose, slipped up and did something incredibly human? What if they made a mistake? Got involved with the wrong crowd, the wrong habits? What if they got lost? What if they were looking for love in all the wrong places? We have all done that. And what if... this was a person I loved and deeply cared about? And he wanted me to just, let them go? Save myself the heartbreak?

Well, as much as I think it is important to respect your professors, I also think that it is perfectly okay to disagree with them, and even disagree with them vocally instead of sitting in silence.

To me, people are worth heartbreak. They are worth pain. They are worth love.

So to propose that the solution to a sick and lost soul is to withdraw your love from them, is absolutely ridiculous to me. That is when they need to be loved the loudest.

Perhaps I have a different perspective on this because of my past. And he doesn't have to agree with me. Quite frankly, no one has to agree with me. But that doesn't make me wrong.

I know that there were times, for most of my adolescent and young adult life, that I broke just about every non negotiable that most people would set. And a lot of people followed my professors advice, a lot of people dropped me like I was nothing. And then there were those few people, who know matter how dark it got, how hard it was to watch me struggle, never looked away. Instead, they just kept on loving me.

I have to make this very clear. I am still here today, alive and breathing on this earth, because love roared louder than my demons. Love helped to save me.

I mentioned this to my professor. And his response was "that is the work of God, not of us." (I should mention I go to a Christian University.)

I stood firm. I told him I think people are worth loving through things. That I believe love is the most powerful thing on this earth (a gift that GOD called us to use.)

He replied with "See me in fifteen years and we'll see if you still believe that."

Feeling condescended upon and somewhat attacked in front of all my classmates I became silenced. But not for long. When I cannot speak, I write. I had my voice stolen from me for so long, that I refuse to be kept silent no matter how irrelevant the circumstances may seem to someone else. My voice matters.

So take whatever side you want. Create your own side. That my friends, is up to you. But as for me, I'm not jumping on my professors bandwagon. I believe in love.

Has God not called us to love? Has he not called us to strive to be as Christ like as possible? So tell me.... how is it the Christian thing to do to withdraw love from those who are hardest to love?

In my eyes, it's not.

Perhaps the problem is this. Those who do not believe in love, will never be able to experience it's magic. And perhaps, my professor, just does not believe in the power of love for whatever reason. But I refuse to let someone else's opinion sway me to believe that there is ever a good enough reason to stop spreading love.

Yes, boundaries are important. And love can come in many different forms. But love, does not give up.

Those people who break the "rules" and are somehow deemed unworthy of love, are deeply misunderstood. They deserve love. You deserve love. I deserve love. We all deserve love.

So my professor and whoever believes in his philosophy, can doubt the healing, beautiful, madness that is love. But as for me, I'm going to keep on loving.

Because love heals.

And you, you are so worth loving.

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