When you're diagnosed with a chronic illness it can immediately feel like a death sentence. You feel hopeless, helpless, frustrated and every other negative feeling under the sun. Your doctors will either scare the crap out of you or will say "you don't have to worry." At that point, you can't help but think, "you have no idea what I'm going through." After countless hours of crying your eyes out, denial, depression and the "why me" stage you begin to question your very reason for existence. There are times that you are so depressed that you feel like a gaping hole is in the core of your being. In every sense of the word, if it weren't for the breath you take every few seconds, you are dead.

I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) last year and it took a toll on my emotional, spiritual and, needless to say, my physical well-being. I recently had to quit a great job I loved and focus on my health. It seemed like everything was going wrong. I started to have panic attacks, trouble walking properly, trembling, you name it, I had it. I spent a long time feeling sorry for myself, which was completely out of my character.

Then came denial and shame. I was always kind of clumsy, but with MS, my clumsiness deserved a gold medal. I was so ashamed of my illness. When I would stumble or miss a step, I would almost rather have someone think I was drunk than to have to explain that I had a condition.

I felt ashamed of how my illness made my family feel and that they had to alter their lives because of me. I was in a state of turmoil, I didn't want to eat, I couldn't sleep, I didn't want to speak to my friends, refused to go on social media and basically crawled into a coffin of loneliness that I had made for myself.

In my darkest moments, I refused to talk to people, and when I did talk to people, I hid behind my smile as though nothing was wrong. I tried hiding my illness from everyone. I remember being in a company meeting and completely losing my vision and still pretending as though nothing was wrong. No one noticed, and to me it was a victory, but looking back, there was no reason to hide because my coworkers are awesome people and would have understood. In that moment, I chose to hide my affliction, and decided to play it cool all because I was ashamed of being sick.

But then something happened....

I met a woman through an MS support group who was diagnosed at the exact same age as me, now 20 years into her diagnoses, had so much joy and optimism. I couldn't believe that someone with MS could be so happy! She had recently had a baby, had a loving husband, was aware of her condition, physically active, not confined to a wheel chair, and many more great things. She made me realize I still had a life.

I realized I had believed the many myths circulating online about my condition. I started to understand that worrying wasn't changing my situation. Even though MS is part of my life, it doesn't make me who I am. It didn't mean that I would have to end up in wheelchair, or depend on people for the rest of my life. I started seeing the brighter side of things and becoming proactive. I started working on changing my diet, taking meds, and focusing on my faith.

Changing my diet, and eating healthier foods helps my body be as strong as it can be to fight my illness. Taking the required medications helps to prevent progression of the disease as well as managing my symptoms. I have always believed in God and the power that he has to walk you through even the toughest of times and that everything has a lesson to be learned. I am learning through my faith that I can be content and have joy in even the most stressful of situations.

I can honestly say that I am better now. Even though, I still have certain limitations, I am OK. By looking at me, you wouldn't know that I had an illness, which for a long time, I convinced myself that everyone could see what I was going through. I didn't realize that the stress of worrying was actually making my condition worse.

I want to let all those with a chronic illness know that unlike the doctor's who tell you not to worry, I'm not going to say that. It sucks, I know it, take the time you need to sulk but don't live there.

There are still so many good things to look forward to. Find out what works for you, stick to it, know your limitations and make sure that your family knows, too. Also, don't get too mad at your family and friends. It can be hard to understand when you can't see the symptoms. Most people with MS and other chronic illnesses have what is called invisible symptoms so understand they can't visually see what is going on inside of you and can't read your mind. Just like you, they have to learn and you have to teach them what limitations you have and how to help you overcome them.

I have realized that no matter how hard it may seem, a chronic illness is not a death sentence. You dig your own grave by refusing the support of your loved ones and drowning yourself in sorrow and loneliness. I did die the day of my diagnosis, but now...I live.

So I'm coming out so to speak, I have MS. It is a part of me, but it doesn't define me.