In this day in age, the percentage of divorces strongly outnumbers the amount of marriages issued every year. Most millennials experience growing up in a split family situation where they have to learn which parent needs to sign school papers or which parent to call when you are sick at school and whose house you have to go to every other weekend. It’s an entirely new situation the child has to learn along with their parents. The idea of your parents never remarrying is simply unrealistic. I’m not saying every parent does, but the majority of parents do eventually move on, and they tend to expand the family with their new partner. I know mine did.
My mom remarried shortly after my father left. And, to be honest, out of some sense of 4-year-old obligation to my father, I hated this guy. I went to extreme ends in order to make trouble for him, tantrum after tantrum and my eye rolling was definitely on point. The more he came around, the more my father stayed away which only made me hate this guy even more. Although, he was very persistent in order to get me to like him. But unlike most adults who approach young kids with bribery, he didn’t. Instead he gave me his undivided attention that my father never did.
And before I knew it, I thought this guy hung the moon. He spent all his free time with my brother and me. He taught me things like how to fly a kite and how to ride a bike. He took me to every Girl Scout meeting, choir practice, sport meet, and every father-daughter dance. It didn’t take long to figure out that this man was every bit my dad.
When he and my mom got married, he made it a priority to never make me feel like the stepchild. And I never felt that way. He was my dad and I was his daughter. Even after 16 years he is still the first person I call for miscellaneous things such as when my car broke down on the side of the road - he was just a quick call away. He took off work just to help me move into my college dorm.
For my high school graduation party, he came with a treasure trunk filled with every drawing, report card, school craft, and every single homemade and even store-bought Father’s Day card I ever gave him. He even had the silly little doodles every kid does growing up. He kept everything I ever did up until high school graduation. He even had the silly participation ribbons all third-placers get.
This man was a better dad than my own father, and I can’t seem not to think back to my 4-year-old self who refused to laugh at his jokes out of some sick obligation I never should have had. I understand not every kid who is from divorced parents experiences this phenomenon. I understand, some parents make it work, but sometimes through your parents’ divorce you get a better deal in the end.
This man was a dad to me when he didn’t have to be. He took on the role of dad after a couple of dates with my mom. He fell in love with me and my brother and we fell in love with him in return. He became my dad the moment he introduced himself, I just didn’t know it at the time. So this is for him, my dad who chose to stick around after every bratty tantrum, every broken rule, and after every little annoying thing a little kid does. Thank you for sticking around when it would have been simpler to just walk away. And thank you for every little mundane experience you showed me as father and daughter. Thank you dad, I love you.
