It's taken me a full two weeks to finally come to an understanding of what exactly happened at Lollapalooza 2016. I might have only gone Friday, but I learned (and saw) a lot over the course of that one day. Here are 10 reflections and tips for 2017 Lolla goers.
1. Prep like it's the end of the world
Sleep well, eat well, and order your flash tattoos ahead of time. Where the day will take you is up to Lolla, you've just got to make sure you're ready for it. Be familiar with bands and locations so that you at least make it to your top 3. That being said, don't get too upset if you don't make it to every one of the 10 sets you planned to. Some will be impossible to even physically get to. For me, that was Mac Miller. Others are simply too far away or will cost you not getting as close to the stage as another. Try your best to just go with it and let Lolla take you where she will. It'll be a great time no matter what.2. It will rain
It doesn't matter your weather app says, at some point during the day, it will rain. When it happens and for how long will be a mystery as your makeup streaks down your face and hair becomes in desperate need of a ponytail. The euphoria of Lolla will do that to you.
3. Amidst a sea of drunks, you will need water
While buying a water bottle there seems like an easy fix, there's a good chance you'll forget. Again, the hype of Lolla will do that to you, and once your deep in the crowd of a main stage, there is no chance you're going to make it out, let alone come back. I made this mistake during Future and Major Lazer, so heed my warning, follow the trend, and bring a Camelback.4. In a sea of drunks...in general
The switch between one artist and another ends up being like this scene from Lion King. You will get terribly trampled as some people try to leave and others move forward. Everyone will be complaining about the pushing, but don't fall for it—they're contributing to the shoving just as much as the next guy.
5. Drowning in the sea
In the case that you get separated from your friends, enlist a tall stranger to aid in your escape because it's near impossible to swim upstream of the tightly packed strangers.
6. Learning how to swim
At some point, an artist will ask the crowd to do some outrageous move. This year, I'd say the most outrageous was when Major Lazer not only had everyone jump up and down in the sardine packed crowd but then run to one side, only to then run back the other way. At one point, I was parallel to the ground, yet the mass of people kept me from actually being on it. It was tragically amazing.
7. When it's time to get out of the water
The mass exodus of people at the end of the day at Lolla is something that can only be experienced as the Chicago streets fill with Millennial milling around. The Dunkin' Donuts will be filled, yet remarkably understaffed.
8. Even if you know how to swim, not everyone does
Perhaps the most amusing side of Lolla was watching all the non-Chicagoans try to figure out how to get to their hotels. Those that couldn't bear the cost of the Uber surge (myself included) were stuck with the CTA, which can be a bit confusing for those that aren't from the area. Rest in peace the couple that got on the Red Line heading south instead of north.
9. Your shoes: the greatest loss for the day
The people who get on the wrong train aren't the only ones to RIP. The mix between the rain and the vast amount of strangers will make for a lovely concoction for your poor shoes. Word of advice: white converse might look good in pictures but never will they look good again. No matter how much you scrub them, they're a lost cause, so where shoes that you don't care about too much or be prepared to buy new ones.
10. Lolla should be a sport
Medals should really be given to those that make it through all four days because even after one, I woke up with every inch of my body aching. Major Lazer's jumping and running proved to be the workout I didn't know I needed or for that matter, ask for. Shout out to those of you that made it through the entire festival. I hope to be one of you next year.
