There are many aspects and responses associated to living a life devoted to God. Some of those responses are desirable such as goosebumps and joyous tears when embracing God's wondrous presence and peace allowing you to be content basking in Him for as long as it lasts. However other responses are not so enjoyable such as pain, ugly tears whilst screaming on your bedroom floor, saying no to other loves, and trusting despite not knowing or understanding one single thing around or within you. I have found that not many want to talk about that side of things because not many actually dare to surrender themselves to the entire process that it's required in the delicate remolding of the potter's hands. Truth be told, I've fought it my entire life.
There's a cost to saying yes to Him that many do not like to talk about, nor is it often encouraged or taught. We as Christians love going to church, hearing a few good songs and a good feel-good sermon, and then rushing out to beat the lunch crowd before the other churches let out. However, what we often times don't like is conviction, a lifestyle change, surrendering control, and a heart of true repentance. This process of allowing Him to strip us of ourselves to let more of Him reside within us requires an emptying of all we grip tightly of; it requires everything in us. Why do we often skip the process? Because it's painful. It's costly. There is sacrifice required. It's uncomfortable. It's often times messy.
This is the refining process. Just as gold is placed within fire at scorching temperatures for the purpose of burning away every single impurity so that in the end only pure gold remains, the same process is required of us. He desires to strip us of everything that hinders us from a union with Him. Holy can only reside with Holiness, just as light can only be in the presence of light. To be with Him who is holy, we must in turn live a life of holiness and righteousness. How do we get there? We die a painful death to flesh, sin, and our own wills and we say yes to Him alone. It may cost you relationships, what you spend your time doing, watching and speaking about, some friendships, maybe even your job, however, I will dare say after having lost some of those things that it's all worth it. There is a cost to loving Him, are you willing to pay the cost?
Is there anyone here who, planning to build a new house, doesn’t first sit down and figure the cost so you’ll know if you can complete it? ... Simply put, if you’re not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it good-bye, you can’t be my disciple.”
(Luke 14:25-30, 33 MSG)
To the heart that is tired of failing, It's not over yet. What you fail to control is not meant for you to even hold. We so desperately try to fill the God-sized void within us with other things or people that only He Himself has the power to fill. You aren't going to look like the person next to you, you aren't going to always be understood, you won't be accepted or liked by everyone, and it definitely won't be easy. Truth be told, this is probably the hardest 'yes' you will ever utter in your life thus far. Yet I promise you He is a rewarder to those who love and seek Him with all their being.I truly count it all a loss in comparison to knowing Him.
