“Zuliat, are you really going to USA?” my niece asked with an astonishing expression in her face. I replied with a “yes!” full of excitement. We both went into our imaginary world of what we knew USA to be. We tried to imagine how amazing the experience was going to be. My niece shared in my joy and watching her smile glow left an unforgettable feeling of love in me. As we both chatted and laughed, feelings of sadness began to arise as the thought of leaving her and every other loved one behind surfaced. It became a tug of war as happiness and sadness were bought fighting to take possession of me. I was ready and at the same time scared, enthusiastic but also nervous.
Days passed and I still felt those contradictory feelings. I had so many questions to ask and so many things to wonder about. Of course I was excited about this new journey in life but I could not ignore the pain it would cause me. At seventeen, I was mainly worried about missing my family not knowing that there were greater things to be worried about. Would my acceptance in my country stay the same irrespective of years of being away? Would I ever be that “lost” person who is neither accepted in her current residence or country of birth? Would my identity be lost? Would I be a foreigner to all? This weren’t question I meditated on, and I’m not still sure if my ignorance to such questions at that point was either good or bad.
The day finally came and I boarded my first plane, and traveled to the United States from Nigeria to begin my college career. I remembered crying so hard in the plane that I must have scared the poor lady next to me. The bumps from the plane ride mixed with the fact that I just left my childhood behind probably made the whole situation worse. This day marked the beginning if a new step in my life.
Today, I look back at the last 4 years and see a lot of personal growth, success, and achievement. I recall the many individuals who have contributed so much to what I am today. I recall the love I received from others who were neither related nor familiar with me. I recall the support I got when everything seemed strange and different to me. At the same time, I realize all the sacrifices I had to make as an international student. I have missed out on the opportunity to watch my nieces and nephews grow. I have missed out on those family celebrations that has their way of making me so happy and content.
To all international students out there. As much as we might have missed out on one thing or the other, know that it takes a unique person to be an international student. It takes a person of courage to leave one’s comfort zone and leap into an unknown world. There would always be lonely times, sad times, and times when the urge to feel the soil of your native land overshadows you. In these times, recall on all the best moments in life and draw strength from the realization that you already started making history the moment you decided to study abroad.
