I left Morningside College last Friday at approximately 4 p.m. I drove the long four hours back to the beautiful city of Cedar Rapids. I have been home a week and the way that I see my home is forever changed in my mind.

Before leaving for college, my life was relatively simple; I had a solid little circle of friends who I held dear to me in the fleeting time of my summer vacation. I had a hardworking job at the country club serving rich people on the weekends. My family was divided but still filled with love for one another. I had high hopes for the year ahead of me. Sioux City, or Sioux Shitty if you stay there long enough, was to become my home. And I get it! Everyone changes in college, they find who they really are and what they really want in life. But I never thought that I would be affected by the change of pace. You see, I have always been more independent from my parents than most people I know. I enjoyed my time alone, sometimes more than I enjoyed the company of others. Sitting and watching "Scandal" on Netflix was as much drama as I ever needed in my life. So, I figured that adjusting to college would be easy, which it was for me. I lived my life at Morningside. I woke up early to make the five-minute walk across campus to arrive at my chemistry lab; I experienced the extreme anxiety of walking into the cafeteria and not knowing where your friends were. I made incredible friendships that I believe will last me a lifetime. I started a relationship with one of the nicest smartest people I have ever met. I wasn’t sure how on earth I did it but I created a home for myself there. While living at Morningside I did not see myself change. It’s kind of like your hair growth. You are seeing it grow, but you are living with it and seeing it every day so it never looks different to you. There was no drastic a-ha moment that showed me I had become an adult. It was, I guess, a gradual process.

Then the moment came, it was all over. Finals had kicked my butt and I had become an expert in trying to pack fifty shirts into a very small box. My mother drove up to the dirty Sioux and helped me move back. I said goodbye to my friends, my boyfriend, even that one kid I always saw on campus but never got to ask his name. I was so excited, I was going to relax and do nothing. Maybe get some actual sleep and a good meal. I walked into my room and set my bags down, and things felt different. The twinkly lights on the wall weren’t shining as bright. My comforter on my bed seemed…. Boring. It was dull. I felt the instant urge to pack back up and go back to Sioux City, marching into the dorms and yelling, “Kidding! I'm not actually leaving!” And the revelation came shortly after. College changed the way I view the world. My room lacked luster without the countless Polaroid pictures hanging on the walls. My plans were never as fun as a simple run to Panda Express with my boyfriend. Any Buffalo Wild Wings trip would never be enjoyable without the crazy group of friends I brought with me every time. My life had been left in Sioux City. I had created a new normal for myself. So much so, that it seemed stranger to move back home than it did to move to college. I was so different from when I stood there looking at my room one last time before I moved out.

I have grown up and changed. I thought I knew exactly who I was in high school. God was I wrong. Where you are, and whom you share your experiences with, changes you. It changes some more than others. I was extremely affected by it. But I realize I am going to be okay. Because growing up is a part of life, change is always going to be happening and I am going to learn how to go with the flow. It will not always seem so different here at home, eventually, I will adapt to life here in Cedar Rapids. But that is when the whole cycle will start over again. If just being in college affected my life this much I can’t wait to see how graduating changes the way I see the world.