No one ever talks about how hard it is to make a film. In fact, most people think it’s all fun and games. Of course, while on set, there is occasional laughing; however, when you’re a filmmaker, transferring your vision into actual pictures is quite challenging. I became a film major because I cannot escape the images in my head. My mind does not think in numbers; it thinks in sound, colors and pictures. It’s always been like this.
My childhood was filled with Martin Scorsese and Paul Thomas Anderson films. My parents did not like watching kid movies, so we watched films like "Boogie Nights," "Scarface" and "Goodfellas." Whenever a sex scene appeared, my mother told me the actors were exercising. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Who let’s an 8-year-old watch movies filled with violence and sex? My awesome, caring parents, that’s who. My parents introducing me to the greats early on gave me an instinct for story. They nurtured my film obsession, my mother scraped some money together to buy me a desktop, so I could watch films on my own while my father, always old school, recorded my favorite films on VHS.
When I came to college, I faced many challenges when it came to film. More specifically, I had gotten very good at writing, but transferring pictures in my head into reality was a craft I found hard to master. I would get a great idea, write it out, and then when I got everything together, it never matched. It used to drive me crazy. Upon hearing this, my professor told me that production, the actual shooting of the film, is a new realm, full of different opportunities. He told me that I couldn't get so caught up in recreating what’s in my head, but had to learn to accept the new form the story took. Spending so much time writing things out is hard to do, but the more films I make, the more I’m beginning to see the value in letting the narrative shift.
I took my first production course this quarter and was immediately dejected. Actors would bail, cameras have so many buttons on them and the quarter time crunch is insane. Within my production course, I made three short films, each better than the last. However, I still could not fight the persistent thoughts that pointed out all my mistakes. My parents did not watch documentaries on how to make a feature or a short film, so this was a great blindspot. I began to doubt my abilities and questioned whether or not flm was for me.
Filmmaking is an art form that cannot be taught. There is only guidance in film. Our professors cannot give us ideas, nor hold our hands. It’s extremely self-reliant, and at the same time, not at all. Another challenge people don’t realize is how difficult it is to find actors and cinematographers. People would often flake and call last minute or not at all. This would result in me having to reschedule, which is bad because film students have limited access to film equipment.
Overall, I’m not saying the film major is the greatest major out there, but I am saying it deserves more credit than it's given. Everyone loves movies, so why not respect and appreciate the people who make them?
