If there’s one thing I’ve learned about boys and love over the years, it’s that it is always best to look with your head before you fall with your heart. There’s some obvious turn-ons and turn-offs when it comes to boys, and it’s actually very easy to spot them if you just stop and think for a second. Some people call it being “too picky.” Some people say it’s “overanalyzing.” I like to think of it as falling in love in a smart way. There’s some obvious characteristics the boy worth your time will possess, so you should open your eyes and really think before you throw your heart out there. Over the past few months, I’ve been creating my own “boyfriend checklist,” and it’s already saved me so much trouble. I promise your heart and your head will love you for this.

1). He is intelligent. If he doesn’t have a thought in his head, what is your conversation going to look like? Your boyfriend should be someone who tests your intellect and lets you challenge his. He should recognize your intelligence and want to match up to you.

2). He is motivated and has goals in life. No one wants to be with someone who has no goals or intentions of doing anything with their life. Fifteen years from now, do you want to be the girl that is making her deadbeat husband dinner and serving it to him while he’s posted up in the recliner screaming at a football game? Or would you rather be that driven, successful woman that has the equally successful man to match? Be with someone who recognizes that you’re going places and wants to go there with you.

3). He is slow to anger and he knows how to keep his emotions in check. No relationship is perfect, obviously, and arguments are inevitable. However, how he acts in those arguments is a very good indicator if he’s actually a good one to keep around. If his anger scares you, even for a split second, leave. If his reaction to you making him angry over something little as going out and partying and posting pictures with a billion other girls just to hurt you, leave. If he handles arguments by walking away and trying to come back a few days later, leave. Be with the guy who sticks around through the good and bad and is willing to calmly work through it all with you.

4). He communicates with you. The saying “communication is key” is no joke. For a relationship to work, both people need to be on the same page all the time. If he can’t communicate how he feels or what he wants, you’re fighting a losing battle.

5). He has the same fundamental values and morals as you. Whoever said “opposites attract” was so incredibly wrong. If he drinks and parties and you don’t agree with that, it’s probably a good idea to walk away. If you have a strong faith, you probably shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t believe. If you can’t agree on some of the biggest values and morals in your life, how are you supposed to agree on anything and how are you going to raise a family together in the future?

6). He’s a hopeless romantic, just like you. He knows you like those cute Instagram posts and the surprise flowers on random occasions and that you always want to have your hand held and that you like being affectionate and cute together. He wants to give you all of those things. Better yet, he also wants to be cute with you and loves that you’re affectionate towards him and appreciates all the romantic gestures you do for him as well. Be with someone who loves showing you off and is proud to have you and never lets you forget it.

7). He makes you a better person and lets you make him a better person, too. After all, that’s what a relationship should come down to, right?

8). He has respect for others, but especially you. Pay careful attention to how he treats others. His actions towards others is a very good reflection of how he will treat you. Make sure he gives respect to others and has the highest respect of all for you.

9). He doesn’t take the partying and drinking to the max. You shouldn’t be the girl who sits at home wondering when or if he’s coming home, who he’s with, or what he’s drunkenly doing behind your back. If it annoys you now, it’s going to annoy you so much more 10 years down the road.

10). He wants to take care of you, even though he knows you’re a strong independent woman who doesn’t need to be taken care of.

11). He doesn’t make you worry about him… at least not all of the time. You should definitely worry about his well-being and his happiness. However, you should never have to worry about his loyalty or honesty.

12). He is not the one in the room that has to be the center of attention. If he feels like he has to be the center of attention everywhere you go, run as fast as you can. Nobody likes that obnoxious guy in the room who is so far up on his high horse that you can’t figure out how he breathes from the lack of oxygen up there.

13). He makes you feel like the center of his world. He doesn’t just have pretty words, but the pretty actions to back them up. I hate to break it to you, but the butterflies he gives you doesn’t mean much. However, if he makes it clear you give him those butterflies, too and his eyes light up when he looks at you, then that means something.

14). He’s protective of you, but not crazy jealous. Meeting up with your male lab partner to do a project should not drive him absolutely mad of jealousy.

15). He’s ready to love you as much as you are prepared to love him. Nothing is more heartbreaking than loving someone who doesn’t love you back as much as you love them. Save yourself the heartache and make sure they’re actually willing to open their heart to you before you throw yourself out there.