It wasn't love at first sight, but it definitely was an electric attraction. While I was attracted to you immediately, it wasn't what made me love you. It was your personality.
We met through a mutual friend at the end of my Freshman year and seeing as the school year was almost over, I decided not to pursue you. Then as I began my Sophomore year, you entered my life in an unexpected way. It might just be me watching too many chick flicks but I thought to myself, this is a sign. So I made it a point to get close to you even though I knew nothing about you.
Everything about you took my by surprise.
It wasn't just the way you made me laugh, or the way you quoted one of my favorite movies, no it was more than that. I was surprised by the way you remembered our conversations. You listened so closely to what I had to say and then you remembered it. No boy had ever done that before.
You loved to read and we would spend an hours discussing our favorite books. You were interested in my research. Science is not always interesting to people who don't understand the specifics but you, you were interested in the not-so-polished aspects of my research. You wanted to know more each time I talked about it and that meant more to me than you'll ever know. People don't usually care that much.
On days where I was exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally, you would take me off campus to a diner. You made me feel human again.
When my grandmother passed away, you never said "I know how you feel". You just said "I'm sorry. That sucks. Let me know if there's anything I can do." Thank you for not lying to me. Thank you for not telling me that she's "in a better place" or that it was "for the best". I hate when people say those things. They aren't comforting, they don't make me feel better, they just feel dismissive. Thank you for seeing me as a person who was in pain and not trying to comfort me or trying to fix it.
I know this sounds like I was blind to your flaws but I wasn't. I knew you had a hot temper. I knew that you got frustrated at stupid school assignments. I knew you hated being bored. I knew we didn't have the same taste in music. I knew you that when you were stressed you'd skip meals and take it out on people around you. I knew your flaws and I loved you anyway.
Not telling you was a choice because while I was falling in love with you, you were falling in love with her.
