"Cause I was gonna be your forever, you were gonna be my wife, we didn't know any better, didn't have a clue about life, but I was what you wanted you were what I needed, and we could meet in between, we were gonna be the greatest love story this town had ever seen…."
Six years… Six years that I thought were the start of something beautiful, but instead it was six years that I wasted on someone that could care less about me. I just wish that you had been just another boyfriend not my fiancé, not my first love, not my forever. LOL forever. You were supposed to be my forever, but just like the song said, "I didn't know any better." I didn't. I thought I knew everything about you. I thought you loved me enough to fight through the tough times. I thought you were the love of my life.
When we split the first time, neither of us could seriously date other people. No matter how hard I tried to find other people - my mind always took me back to you. It was like my heart belonged to you. I thought you were going to be that missing piece in my life that was going to fix it all. You weren't supposed to break me even more. You were supposed to be the one that could put me back together whenever you hugged me. You were supposed to be it for me. You were supposed to be my forever.
I think it's so funny. LANco wrote the song "American Love Story" and it was like they were in our heads. That song was every bit of our life together. No one supported our relationship, you were a bad influence and I was too good for you. We never stopped for a second to listen to them though. I stuck by your side, and you just kinda ignolaged that I existed. I didn't go to college like the song said, but when you moved schools - we decided to part ways. Those were the, what seemed like, longest two years of my life. I did find out a lot about life at that time, and I did find better…. in myself anyways. So when you came back to town, yes we were different people, but it was like nothing even changed between us. I would sneak out every night and ride around town with you. When we started talking about marriage and having a life together, we were like the happiest people on the planet.
I was on cloud nine. I thought we had a future. But just like the song said, we really didn't have a clue about life. I should of never came back. While I was planning our wedding, you decided for some ungodly reason to stop talking to me. I waited. I prayed. I cried. I cried a lot waiting for you to come back. I didn't know what to think.. So I finally broke down and asked why you hadn't talked to me. You said you thought that I was done with you. I WAS PLANNING OUR FUTURE AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE?! Once you said that I decided that I was done. Done being treated like a second-class citizen, done being treated like I was invisible, and done feeling worthless. It was the worst pain I had ever felt.
You broke me. I was lost and sad, but you - you were fine. A month later, you had a new girlfriend. By the way, I find it creepy that she looks so much like me that I think I have a missing sister in the world. Who even knew that she lived in the same county I have lived in my whole life. I heard "American Love Story" being played on a TV show the other night, and I was flooded with emotions and memories. We had a good run at this life together. It sucks that the song ends happily, and you can't even be civil enough to text me back so I can return your things to you.
One good thing has come out of the hell you put me through though.. I'm a whole lot stronger now than I used to be. You left me in pieces. I was at such a low in my life that I didn't even know where to start. How was I supposed to pick up the pieces, put myself back together, and keep going with my life? I didn't even think I was strong enough. Well, it turns out I am. I put myself back together and I am pushing through life not even caring about you anymore. I have some amazing qualities and talents, an awesome church where I get to work with amazing girls (who I can teach to look out for deadbeats like you), super cool friends who push me to keep going, and an incredible God who stood by me through all of this heartbreak. So thank you. Thank you for being my first love. Thank you for helping me learn about myself and for being a good chapter in my life story. Thank you for preparing me for my one true love. Thank you for not being him. Goodbye forever. I will always love you.
"We were gonna be the greatest love story this world had ever seen."
