Well, here I am. After nearly 20 years of being single and experiencing a number of failed attempts to date someone for long period of time, and I have a few things to say to the boy who made me feel worthless.

For some reason, you lost interest and thought I wasn't good enough for you, and to be honest, I didn't really blame you. You obviously had a certain "type" and unfortunately, that type wasn't me. I was sad for a long time, and I didn't understand why I you didn't want me, or why it didn't work out. I lived my life in a constant state of confusion, until I realized that I just wasn't good enough for you. This realization hurt the worst, because to me, you meant the world.

I knew that there was someone you wanted, and something you wanted that I couldn't give you. So I lived my life constantly comparing myself to the other girls and always justifying the situation. Saying to myself that you don't want because of whatever reason. I knew wasn't the blonde beauty that really caught your eye, nor was I the outgoing person you immediately clicked with, but I stuck around and allowed myself to feel the pain of an indirect rejection.

I was willing to change for you, and believe me I tried. I tried changing the way I looked, the way I talked and the way I acted around people, just to get you to want me the way I wanted you. When I talk about this year in general, my friends and family all say that I acted strange. It's because you challenged my self-value and made me question my own worth, to the point where I actually lost myself.

I was so caught up in trying to be a certain way that would attract you that I forgot my own natural personality. I forgot who I was to be someone you loved. "I lost my mind trying to be on yours."

But in spite of all these things, I learned something along the way. I learned that no matter what I have family and friends that DO see how much I am worth, and love me as I am. I do not have to compete with others to win their affection.

Also, I learned that I don't have to change myself for someone. The person I love should be happy with just me.

Now that years have past, I don't look for you anymore to try and find an answer to an unsolvable question. I don't look at you and feel small. I look at you now and I'm so happy, and grateful that I dodged a bullet. I'm so happy that I didn't end up with someone that would have probably made me feel worthless anyway. I see you and I see a person that made me a strong woman.

You taught me that not everyone will love me and not everyone will even respect me enough to give me a chance. I know that I have to stand by myself and for myself before I can even try to love someone. And, that my relationship with myself is more valuable that a relationship with someone who doesn't care.