First off, I want to thank you. I want to thank you for your patience, your understanding, and your love.
I know it takes a lot to deal with me and to sometimes put your questions aside and just be there for me. I know that it's hard to just say "okay" when I freak out and that it's frustrating to have to constantly reassure me. I know that, and I appreciate it more than you will ever know.
I'm damaged goods; I come with emotional baggage. My brain always comes up with a worst-case scenario to go with every situation. To put it frankly, it sucks. A lot of people think that it's just me being irrational, but they don't know the real story. I come from an emotionally abusive relationship. My last boyfriend used hurtful words, harsh names, and even pushed me around from time to time. I've never told anyone that. I dealt with it for so long that it felt like I was just going through the motions. I was letting him say what he wanted to say and call me names just so he could get it over with. To be honest, it made me emotionally unstable. When the relationship ended, I was so belittled and so self conscious that I didn't know how to exist now that I was living outside of that little bubble. Then you came along.I didn't want to meet you at first, I was afraid and I was unmotivated. I didn't want to have to start over with someone new and explain my life story and why I am the way I am. But you were kind, funny, smart and had the most outgoing personality, so I couldn't resist. It took a while, but I slowly let you in and let you know the real me. I told you the truth about the relationship I came from, expecting you to walk away. But you didn't. You stayed. You showed me how a girl is really supposed to be treated, and after a little while, how a girl is really supposed to be loved. For so long, I had been treated like the gum on the bottom of a shoe. Chewed up, spit out, and stepped on. It felt so unnatural to be treated right that I almost feel like I didn't like it at first. Doesn't that sound terrible? It took me so long to let you in, and for that I'm sorry. But since I've figured out that I could trust you, I'm the happiest I've ever been. You make me genuinely happy every single day. I've never laughed or smiled so much, and that is something that you restored in me.
So, to the boy that came "after," thank you. For what, you may ask?
Thank you for saving me. Thank you for taking me in, building me up, and reminding me that I can be loved and that I deserve it. Thank you for teaching me to believe in myself again after he had taken all of that away from me. Thank you for making me fall for you all over again everyday with your kind words and your sweet heart. Thank you for teaching me how to love again, and how to accept love without question. Most importantly: Thank you for being you.