I am a Catholic school survivor.

I went to Catholic school from preschool through the 12th grade. I grew up in a small, safe school system in a mid-sized town without fear of shootings, gangs, robberies, or bombings. I was able to grow, develop, and discuss my faith in daily religion classes. I had the opportunity to be involved in sports, music, and student council. I was accepted to all 5 colleges I applied to due to rigorous academic training.

There was one thing from my school that I needed that I didn't get.

Sexual education.

If I could sum up my school's version of sex ed in a gif, this would be it:

The Catholic Church's teaching on sexual education is that it should not be giving explicit sexual information - it should be a way to teach children and teens how to be modest, pure, and chaste, and that sex is meant for those who are married, and that masturbation is not okay.

The Church also firmly believes that parents should be the ones teaching kids about sex, not teachers in a classroom setting where boys and girls are mixed. The Catholic Church believes that modesty (not necessarily what in what you wear, in this case what you talk about) is key and that modern sex ed programs "deliberately aim to let it all hang out." You can read more about this at Catholic Education Resource Center.

Here is the extent of my sexual education throughout my twelve years of Catholic school:

5th grade - the first talk: Boys and girls were split into different classrooms in order to discuss our changing bodies. I don't know what the boys talked about, but the girls were lectured on periods, our growing breasts and wearing bras, as well as proper hygiene. It was a little awkward but necessary - and I got a free box of tampons and pads!

8th grade - the recess talk: I will never forget this day. During recess, all of the girls in our grade were herded into our library. It turned into the most awkward and uncomfortable 20 minutes as our (female) principal told us that we were wearing tops that were too low-cut and skirts that were too short, and that some of our own "well-endowed and well-gifted" class members needed to cover up more. I remember looking at one of my dear friends who was an early bloomer - she was looking down, feeling embarrassed and ashamed. I remember looking at my developing body that night before going to bed, feeling ashamed as well.

10th grade - health class: In high school, we were required to take a one-semester health course. This class, taught by our gym teacher, lectured us on the dangers of alcohol and binge drinking, drugs and their effects, as well as a short unit of different kinds of STDs (without any pictures, ind you.) There was no information on contraception, abortion, masturbation, adoption, pornography, or parenthood. No information was given in regards to people who identify as anything other than heterosexual. Sex was still mysterious and far away.

12th grade - the marriage talk: Again, boys and girls were split into different classrooms for a different kind of talk - all about marriage. Our female religion teacher had an informal chat with the senior women on Natural Family Planning, which is a method that some couples use, based on a woman's menstrual cycle, to determine what time of the month that having sex will result in pregnancy. No information was given on contraception - Natural Family Planning was the only way to go, and sex was only acceptable if you were married. There was no information given on how to have a healthy sex life with your spouse, or how to even be a good partner in a relationship.

Looking back on my school years, I am appalled at the Catholic Church's approach to sexual education. This approach taught us that people who had pre-marital sex were dirty, whores, impure, etc. and that women who had abortions were doing the devil's work. We didn't have all the facts about our bodies and sexual health - how to use a condom, what kinds of contraception to use, etc. I especially shudder at that we were encouraged to pray outside the local Planned Parenthood clinic to end abortions. None of knew that they did anything other abortions.

Abstinence-only education is harmful. It contributes to a society where women exist only for men's sexual pleasure. I was told to keep myself pure for my future husband - that I have to make a choice about my body for a man that I have never met. I've been teased and pitied for being a virgin by choice, even in college, by people I thought were good friends. It hurts.

While the notion of having our parents be in charge our sexual education is sweet, in reality, it isn't practical. My parents were too busy taking care of my other siblings and driving us to our many basketball games and play rehearsals than to plan out a lecture on STDs. I also lived in a conservative small town with parents who did not allow us to watch television shows like Family Guy or South Park - I remember being forbidden to watch "Bridesmaids" because there is a sex scene in the beginning. I never had a formal "talk" with them about sex until I went to college because I was too embarrassed to ask them questions.

Look at the facts - abstinence-only education is ineffective at best, because teenagers who have abstinence-only education has just as much sex and get as many STDs as teens who had a well-rounded education. A 2011 study analyzed found that only 11 states were required to teach medically accurate information about contraception. Teens who participated in abstinence-only sex ed programs were still highly likely to become pregnant or contract an STD. The Catholic school system needs to get a reality check - students need to be educated.

When I graduated high school, I knew a few things about STDs, what hole a penis was supposed to go into, and thought that pre-marital sex would result in pregnancy, diseases, as well as broken relationships with my significant other and my family. I had no idea that the pill was used for anything other than to prevent pregnancy. I didn't even know that it was possible for females to masturbate (blame that on how women are portrayed in the media, but that's a whole different article). I was not given all of the information on how my body functions.

I was born and raised Catholic, but I am a feminist and a woman first. My health and understanding of how my body works is important to me, and although I am a practicing Catholic, I cannot let some old single men in Italy decide what I am going to know about my body.

I do think that being abstinent in a legitimate choice. I myself choose to be abstinent. It doesn't make me a better person or give me a better chance of getting into heaven than a person who chooses not to be abstinent, or that I'm not allowed to change my mind tomorrow. However, it's not okay to make any choice about your body if the reason behind it is fear of judgment, shame, or ignorance. You should never be guilt-tripped into having sex or not having sex. My hope is that future educators in the Catholic school system take it upon themselves to bring about change so that students can make healthy, informed decisions