100 Of The Best One-Liners Overheard In Bikini Bottom
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100 Of The Best One-Liners Overheard In Bikini Bottom

"Our C A M P F I R E S O N G Song!"

100 Of The Best One-Liners Overheard In Bikini Bottom

Everyone loves the sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea and all of his underwater pals.

Now, you can reminisce on all the good laughs Spongebob, Patrick, Squidward, and the gang have brought us for years and years to come.

Spongebob was by far the greatest thing to ever come from our generation. Whether you're a kid, a teenager, an adult, or a senior, Spongebob is a TV show for all ages - even with the sneaky little sexual innuendos, included below.

And before we begin, let's admit it: the Bubble Bowl will forever be better than any halftime show the NFL tries to pull off.

1. [chirp chirp]

"Eh sorry I don't speak Italian."

2. "Excuse me, sir. I hope my horrible ugliness won't be a distraction to you."

3. "That hat makes you look like a girl."

"Am I a pretty girl?"

"Uh.. Well... Um.. You're.. You're beautiful."


5. "Could I get a couple of ice cubes?"

"April Fools!"

"What did you do to my drink!?"

"You asked for a couple of ice cubes in your drink, and I only put in one!"

6. "Punch yourself in the face. Doesn't that hurt you?"

"Do you want it to hurt me, Kevin?"

7. "Is this the Krusty Krab?"

"No this is Patrick."

"Is this the Krusty Krab?"

"No this is Patrick."

"Is this the Krusty Krab?"


8. "Can I be excused for the rest of my life?"

9. "Goodness Lesson Number 1: You see someone drop their wallet. Patrick drop the wallet. Now what would you do?"

"Excuse me, sir. But I do believe you've dropped your wallet."

"Doesn't look familiar to me."

"What? I just saw you drop it. Here."

"Nope it's not mine."

"It is yours, I am trying to be a good person and return it to you."

"Return what to who?"

"Aren't you Patrick Star?"


"And this is your I.D."


"I found this I.D. in this wallet and if that's the case this must be your wallet!"

"That makes sense to me."

"Then take it."

"It's not my wallet."

10. "Now you must acquire a taste for free form jazz."

11. "Can you take hats in a dignified and sophisticated manner?"

"You mean like a weenie? Okay! May I take your hat, sir? May I take your hat, sir? May I.."

"Alright, I've heard enough. You've got the job."

12. "I hate all of you."

13. "Alright pinhead, your time is up."

"Who you callin' pinhead?"

14. "Is mayonnaise an instrument?"

"No Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument."

15. "It's called the 'Ugly Barnacle'. Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The End."

16. "You got it set to M for Mini when it should be set to W for Wumbo."

"Patrick I don't think wumbo is a real word."

"Come on, you know, I wumbo, you wumbo, he/she/me wumbo. Wumbo, wumboing, will have he wumbo, wumbo mama. Wumbology, the study of wumbo! It's first grade Spongebob!"

"Patrick, I'm sorry I doubted you."

17. "You may be an open book, Spongebob, but I'm a bit more complicated than that. The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma."

18. "So you mean to say they've taken what we thought we think and make us think we thought our thoughts we've been thinking our thoughts we think we thought, I think?"

19. Congratulations sir. Your Krabby Patty pizza is here!"

"Wow thanks. I've been dying for one of these. Where's my drink?"

"What drink?"

"My drink! My diet Dr. Kelp! Don't tell me you forgot my drink!"

"But you didn't order any.."

"How am I supposed to eat this pizza without my drink?!"

20. "Please, please, quiet! Is this anyway to behave, hmm? Can we show a little decency and form a neat single file line in front of the register?"

21. "So if we play loud, people might think we're good."

22. "Wake me up when I care."

23. "That is the stupidest dance move I've ever seen."

"Who put you on the planet?"


25. "We're on a baby hunt and don't think we don't know how to weeeeddd 'em out."

26. "I defy you heartman!"

27. "9,997. 9,998. 9,999. 10,000! Where's the X? It's supposed to be right here. 10,000 paces East."

"Oh, East? I thought you said Weast."

28. "This is a load of barnacles."

29. "Welcome to the Salty Spitoon, how tough are ya?"

30. "This isn't me millionth dollar. This is an ordinary dollar that's been crumbled up, torn slightly, soaked in the lagoon, and kissed with Coral Blue #2 semigloss lipstick."

31. "HI MAILMAN! Okay see you tomorrow!"

32. "I've soiled the good Krusty Krab name! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT!"


33. "Oh, please. I have no soul."

34. "OH BOY, 3 A.M!"

35. "The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza absolute-tively!"

36. "Okay Spongebob, you can be Dirty Dan. I just wanna be Patrick."

37. "Win this one because I told ya to."

38. "Sorry Patrick, but the door is slippery. It's frozen shut!"

"Let me have a try. OPEN SESAME! Well I've done all I can do."

39. "Don't be intimidated Squidward – try to imagine him in his underwear."

"Oh no he's hot!"

40. "Well Squiddy, this is exactly how I pictured your band would look."

"That's his eager face."

41. "I know! We can act like plants! Photosynthesis. Photosynthesis."

42. "Welcome to our club! Welcome to our club! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward!"

43. "Thank you, Mr.... Tennisballs!"


44. "Firmly grasp it in your hand."

45. "And all that running is good for your buns and thighs, right?"

46. "See what I mean Patrick?"

"Where's the leak, ma'am?"

47. "Hmm... property of Squidward Tentpoles."


48. "You okay Patrick?"


49. "Happy Birthday! Here's your present! You're welcome."

50. "Hey pal, you just blow in from stupid town?"

51. "Whoever's the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on."

52. "Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?"

"Not until 4."

53. "Hi Spongeboob!"

54. "Gee Patrick, I didn't know you spoke bird."

"No, that's Italian, Spongebob."

55. "Hey Patrick, are you angry too?"


"What's the matter?"

"I can't see my forehead."


57. "I'm ugly and I'm proud."

58. "I'm not just ready, I'm ready Freddy."

"It's Larry."

59. "Ravioli ravioli, give me the formuoli."


61. "Weewoo...weewoo... WEEWOO WEEWOO WEEWOO!"

62. "I'll evacuate the customers, you call the Navy!"

"Hello operator? Get me the Navy!"

"Hello, you've reached the Navy's automated phone service."

"Squidward, the robots are running the Navy!"


63. "Being a lifeguard is so dumb. All they do is blow blow blow on their stupid whistles! Rub rub rub that white stuff on their noses. And show off their gross, misshapen bodies!"


65. "Oh, so this is the thanks I get for working overtime."


66. "Just look at him. Square. The shape of evil!"


68. "Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen.... It was his hat Mr. Krabs! He was number one!"

69. "I guess you're gonna miss the panty raid."

"Panty raid? You're talking about girls, right? Girl girls?"


"And you're talking about raiding their dressers for their underpants, right?"

"Oh yeah."

"Well, count me in!"

70. "Hey Patrick what am I now?"

"Umm... stupid?"

"No, I'm Texas!"

"What's the difference?"

71. "Spongebob, where's my order?"

"Did you look under the tray?"

"Oh. No I didn't, sorry."

72. "OW! I burnt my hand! At night."

73. "The best time to wear a striped sweater..... is all the time. One with a collar, turtleneck! That's the kind."

74. "Are ya feelin' it now Mr. Krabs?"

75. "Imagination!"

76. "I don't need it.... I don't need it.... I NEED IT!"

77. "Hey Patrick."


"I thought of something funnier than 24."

"Let me hear it."


78. "Mi Hoy Minoy!"

79. "First get a jar. Patrick, that's a pickle."


80. "Oh, the Magic Conch Shell! Ask it something! Ask it something!"

81. "This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is ADVANCED darkness."

82. “I’ll have you know that I stubbed by toe last week while watering my spice garden and I only cried for 20 minutes.”

83. “Are you open?"

"Read the sign."

“I’ll have a Krabby Patty Deluxe and some double chili kelp fries.”

84. "We should take Bikini Bottom and push it somewhere else!"

85. "Oh, these aren't homemade. They were made in a factory.... a bomb factory. They're bombs."

86. "Hey everybody, it's Leif Erikson Day! Hinga dinga durgen!"

87. “You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich.”

88. “Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly.”

89. "We finally got enough people for a seven mile spanking machine!"

90. "Hey Sandy watch me do the 'Grouchy Squidward'."

"Stop naming moves after me!"

"Everybody's an idiot except for me."

"Well it's true."

91. "What could be better than serving up smiles?"

"Being dead or anything else."

92. "The door is locked and the only way out is through the... perfume department..."

93. "You're making me claustrophobic."

"What does claustrophobic mean?"

"It means he's afraid of Santa Claus."

"No, it doesn't."


"Stop it Patrick, you're scaring him!"

94. "What do you normally do when I'm gone?"

"Wait for you to get back."

95. "I can't hear you, it's too dark in here."

96. "Are you ready to go crazy?"

"I'm already hearing voices!"

97. "Did you see my underwear?"

"No, Patrick."

"Did you want to?"

98. "Patrick, just how dumb are you?"

"It varies."

99. "Do you smell it? That smell.. the kind of smelly smell.. the smelly smell that smells.... smelly."

100. "That's it mister, you just lost your brain privileges!"

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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