Last Monday, I once again found myself in front of the TV with some friends, glued to the second episode of the Bachelor. Here we were, a group of highly intelligent, independent, free thinking, college educated women, hypnotized by a show, that quite frankly belongs in the rubbish bin of reality TV.

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For two entire hours, we watched 28 gorgeous women act like crazy bitches. They cried, they whinged, they drank all the alcohol in LA and they even took their clothes off – all for the attention of one man. There was plenty of screen time devoted to making out with the bachelor’s face, the importance of “opening up” and who was or wasn’t there for the “right reasons”; yet very little attention on real issues that could make or break a relationship, like whether he’s a cat person or a dog person, how he feels about abortions and equal pay for women. Why bother with such trivialities like these when “he’s so damn cute”.

The show rests on the presumption that viewers (women) enjoy watching other women bitch and fight as they pursue one man – since women inherently see all other women as competition, so would take pleasure in that conflict. Outrageously patriarchal, blatantly heteronormative and disturbingly white, yet women all over the world (myself included) keep ratings high, and it makes absolutely no sense! It’s a complete pantomime, filled with over the top clichés, candles and the sort of contrived drama that makes you yell at your TV screen in horror – we couldn’t look away.

But does tuning into the bachelor every week, make me a bad feminist? Am I perpetuating the sexist notions and stereotypes that the show is so firmly founded on? Some may say so, but in the end, none of us really buy into the bulls**t that is so painstakingly constructed on the show. We are able to recognize that the content of the show is fabricated, and more importantly toxic to feminist struggles for equality. We see and criticize the ways that the show represents, reinforces and exaggerates traditionally sexist gender roles – and then we talk about it! An open, honest deconstruction of the sexist undercurrents of our culture – sounds like feminism to me.

The Bachelor is trash, but at least we have a reason to get together on a Monday night, drink some wine, have a laugh and go home to our own real and imperfect romances.