The Bachelor, As Told By My Father.. | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Entertainment

The Bachelor, As Told By My Father..

Some of the funniest things I've heard him say, yet weirdly very correct.

47
The Bachelor, As Told By My Father..
Wallprints

The Bachelor is a huge hit around the nation for all ages. As I have been watching over the years, I have realized that my dad, of all people, gets really into the storyline each season. I love watching the show with him because he has hilarious, yet very true, commentary. For the final episode of Nick's season, I decided to sit down and record everything my dad said as we watched the last episode of the season.

KEY:

Parenthesis around words: What is going on in the show.
* : What my dad is doing (actions/movements).
Quotations: What my dad is saying while watching the show.

Enjoy.

“Do you want to watch The Voice instead? It’s better.”

“The fantasy suite disgusts me. Well, as a father I would kill somebody. As this fantasy suite thing, I wouldn’t want to be with with him if he was going to be with two other girls.”

“Just listen to how he talks, I don’t get how these girls are so in love.”

“She’s way too hot for him” (Vanessa)

“Plus, I think her family scares him.”

“I would never let you date a guy like him.”

“I can see him flaking and walking out on both”

“I don’t think he really loves any of the girls.”

THIS IS JUST THE PREVIOUSLY ON…..

“Desperate because he didn’t find love after being set up with twenty-five women.”

“NOPE.”

“That’s what I don’t get, you are going to go to Finland to propose?? Go to Colorado and save money.”

*About Finland “I wouldn’t wanna go there. I hate snow. I would go to Texas.”

“Still too cold for me.”

“Spends 12 hours on a plane to freeze the whole time you are there (Finland).”

*Pauses “Look at the way he has his hands, and his face.” As you can tell, my dad isn't very fond of Nick.

(Raven’s Date with family)

(Raven comes out of car) “Ugh, poor girl.”

“She’s super sweet, that’s why I like her though.”

(Family dinner with Raven)

“Is this his family? Mk.”

“You know what sucks too, they have them say all that off camera and now to Raven” (The family members talking to Raven about her relationship with Nick.)

(Talking with Nick’s dad) “Cripes he’s practically gonna sit on her lap.”

“She talks just like the girl on Teen Mom, same exact voice.” True.

“Blah, blah, blah, blahh…”

“Jeez, the mom’s gonna freaking cry.” Pretty sure my dad would cry too when he would be put in this position to talk about me, but that's why I love him.

“That’s what’s good about her (Raven), she is very positive. So is Vanessa.”

(Chris talking about watching this season) “Painful, Chris. Painful.” This one made me laugh out loud.

(Vanessa’s Date with the family)

“All the brothers are like OOOOooo.”

“The dad is thinking ‘she is hot’.” I don't know about that.

“He ain’t movin' to Canada sister.”

“She’s too good for him.” I'll leave that open to everyone else's opinions.

“Nice view.”

“I’m looking at this like a dad. Would I allow this? Probably not.” Also, very true.

“What’d she say?” He has trouble hearing, but I do think he was mocking the show.

“Well yeah, why would she want to move from Canada? That’s her world. That’s just insane.”

*My dad yawns

(Nick talking to his family about Raven and Vanessa) “There was a reason he was rejected, mom!”

“Bout making me fall asleep. They need to speed it up.”

(Cuts to Chris Harrison and the live audience)

*Whistles “Thank god, I’ve never looked more forward to a commercial in all my life.”

(Vanessa’s date starting)

“She just seems unsure.”

*Under his breath says to himself. “Which I don’t blame her.”

“I feel like he doesn’t really like them. He’s doing this show again for the fame. I mean three seasons, the things he has gotten to do, the things he has gotten to see.”

(Riding the horses up the mountain) “Sorry, sister.”

(Santa walks out of hut) “And Saint Nick started his coat onfire and burnt down the love hut.”

(Vanessa holding the gift Saint Nick gave them) “Oh no, she threw it in the fire!”

“She’s tougher than him that’s for sure.”

“He never looks her in the eye very good. He’s a coward.”

“He sucks.” Jeez dad.

“He can’t commit to a glass of water.”

“blah, blah blah.”

(Vanessa talking about how she is confused) “I know I’m confused too. I don’t think he likes her. He’s just a confusing guy. That’s all I can say. That’s how he was on the other shows too. That’s why he’s single.”

“Yeah, he’s wishing he was with the bachelorette (Rachel).”

(Nick talking about how he wants hisheart to be all in it.) “You should already know that if you are all in it if you have met the love of your life, but I don’t think he has.”

(Nick giving his speech to Vanessa about how thismoment is romantic) “repeat repeat repeat repeat…..”

*Dad acts like he is sleeping while Nick is talking to Vanessa

(Chris Harrison talking)

“It’s pretty sad that they have to keep bringing the same guy back. What’s that say about the show? He did paradise didn’t he? So that’s his fourth time.”

(Raven’s Date)

(Raven planning on acting positive and leaving all her positive energy for the date) “Good idea, babe, good idea.”

“What I think he likes about her is if it wouldn’t work out with her that she would just walk away and be care free.”

“It’s almost like Vanessa is draining.”

(Raven and Nick ice skating)

(Nick almost fell on the ice) “That’s the funniest moment of the show right there. It would have been funnier if he would have fell on his butt.”

(Nick and Vanessa kissing on the ice) “If I was her dad, I would have a high-power with a laser point, and throw the bat dad out with the megaphone ‘get off my girl or I will kill you’.” Side note: my dad is obsessed with the videos of the "bat dad". If you don't know what that is, you should check it out if you want to have a good laugh. I think we enjoy the videos so much because my dad always says things in Batman's voice to mock the videos because he gets a huge kick out of them.

(Nick and Raven cuddling by fire) “Oh, isn’t that so sweet???” He said this sarcastically.

*Dad pauses show “I’m taking a break. This is hard work to watch this show.”

(Talking about Raven) “He’s too stupid to pick the obvious” My dad was Team Raven.

(Nick describing how he feels with raven) “that’s how it should be, Nicky.”

Final Rose Ceremony

“Just be happy, you are either going to be hitched or go home.”

*Dad keeps backing the show up. “Okay, I think I got the cars picked out. You know how they show them and try to trick us.”

(Nick talking about how breaking up with Raven was the worst thing he’s ever done.) “I’ve had worse feelings than that.”

(Raven gets out of car) “He’s sending her home and Vanessa’s gonna dump him.”

“I told you, he’s too stupid to pick the obvious.”

(Raven getting back in car) “Pretty smart figuring it out by paying attention to the tires. I knew who was going to get dumped when the car pulled up.”

(Vanessa walking into the rose ceremony to Nick) “I just think he looks so unhappy.”

I didn't watch the first episode with my dad, but my mom informed me that he picked Vanessa from the beginning to win and he didn't know that she was the final person left.

As you can see, my dad really gets into The Bachelor. He may or may not have liked Nick, but I guarentee he will be back to watch the next season. Something that I learned from watching the show with him is that he is usually right about each person and how they act. He is very smart when it comes to this show and about life. I think it was a good thing that I took notes while watching this last episode with him so I could learn a thing or two.

I encourage you all next season to watch the show with your dad and see how entertaining it may be.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

271200
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

136706
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less
Health and Wellness

10 Hygiene Tips For All College Athletes

College athletes, it's time we talk about sports hygiene.

211937
Woman doing pull-ups on bars with sun shining behind her.

I got a request to talk about college athletes hygiene so here it is.

College athletes, I get it, you are busy! From class, to morning workouts, to study table, to practice, and more. But that does not excuse the fact that your hygiene comes first! Here are some tips when it comes to taking care of your self.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments