Here's the trouble with Millennials. We are an awesome group, full of people who are intelligent, driven, technologically savvy, sensitive and progressive in their way of thinking. But there's not been a generation yet that is so plagued by individual insecurities and awkwardness. This awkwardness can make it really difficult to make new friends. We, as a generation, infer intent and emotional response from a text message by dissecting every word and every method of punctuation because we're all afraid of being perceived as "clingy" or "creepy" which makes it unnecessarily confusing when reaching out to someone you just want to kick it with.
Why is this a problem?
There's a theory going around that Millennials are prone to huge waves of nostalgia because technology advanced so quickly that they felt like they grew up too fast. What was once familiar (say a TV show, the latest Xbox, Gameboy, etc.) became outdated in the blink of an eye. While advancing technology is great, it's completely changed how we, as people, communicate with each other.
Take texting. It's convenient, you can keep in contact with multiple people at the same time and respond back whenever you want (or can you?). If you say you haven't gotten anxiety about texting before...I'm going to call you out for being a big, fat liar. If you're not texting your best friend, you know you've gotten nagging, uncomfortable feelings about texts you've sent (or haven't sent) before. And at one time or another you thought...
Was it awkward that I said that?
Did I text back too soon?
Was that smiley face too creepy?
If you can't anticipate how the other person is responding to your texts... it's just the biggest headache. It leads to countless hours of self-doubt, overthinking, and undue pain, nervousness and anger. Now, my texting game is a naive, struggling little mess, I can't help you out. If you want help with that, I'd recommend getting tips from Aziz Ansari's "Modern Romance."
But what I'm talking about goes beyond just texting. What if you ran into someone at a bus stop, a party, or in class, talked to them for five minutes, and then something just stood out to you about them. But not romantically in any way. You just think, "Hey, that chick/dude was really chill, I'd like to just get to know them." You've got their number/Facebook/Snapchat, but that first time of reaching out is so awkward.
How do you ask someone out...without asking them out on something that sounds like a date or a random invitation that seemingly came out of nowhere?
I'm a chronic over-thinker. But I know I'm not the only one that runs into this. I don't want to live in a world where "hanging out" is a blanket term that can be construed into carrying an ulterior motive.
What if I just want to "bro" it out? What if I just want to sit and listen to music for two hours with someone? What about grabbing coffee just because I want coffee and a decent conversation?
What I (and I'm sure everybody else) wants is very simple. But we overthink. Because of technology, internal pressure, and social constructs of Millennial behavior. And I'm kinda over it.
So reader, take a chance, breathe, and break a social norm. Text someone random in your Contacts. Snapchat someone you haven't talked to in a while. Because in the end, we're all human being on this earth, trying to get by, dealing with our own ups and downs. Just being with someone can be comforting and add a positive vibe to your day. No awkwardness, no second thoughts, no ulterior motive. Just a daily dose of kindness.
Just be.
