As much as you may want to believe, your parents are not out to get you. They don’t go to bed every night and plot the next way they can make your life miserable. It’s quite the opposite, actually. If you had said that exact statement to me a year ago, I would’ve given you a long list of reasons I truly believed my parents were trying to make sure I never had fun or did anything for myself. The thing is- my parents are looking out for my welfare even more than I am. There are a few things I’ve learned (and am still learning) about how to navigate the adult versus child relationship between my parents and I.
When you and your parents disagree, you have to recognize that while you may be legally an adult, you are still their child.
Respect is the word. I realize that it’s important to us that our parents recognize us as the blossoming adults we are becoming. However, generally speaking, they are probably paying for your school and many other luxuries that you take for granted. While it’s definitely not okay to repay student loans with unquestioning respect, it’s definitely okay to find a middle-ground. Sure- your parents have probably financially invested in you but, more than that, they have been emotionally invested in you since the day they found out they were going to be your parents. Whenever you want to argue with your parents over whether certain presidential candidate’s remarks are considered gloriously not “politically correct” or just plain offensive, remember a few things. Your parents lost countless hours of sleep, changed all your dirty diapers, drove you to every soccer game and picked you up every time you fell down (physically and emotionally) and they sure as hell didn’t do that so you could argue with them.
There are two very important things I have learned. First off, it’s okay to admit you were wrong. I know, I know. Very cliché- but, it’s true. Sometimes you feel like your parents are finally starting to take you seriously as a maturing young adult. Then, you mess up somehow and it feels like you’ve just taken one step forward and ten steps back. At first, it’s very easy to defend your actions and why you didn’t mess up. However, it’s so important to just admit you were wrong or that you messed up. Your parents will appreciate it. Most of the time, admitting you were wrong is a sign of maturity. The second thing I have learned is that it’s okay to admit you were wrong even when you weren’t. This is something I’ve only learned recently. It’s hard- it really is. You may be honestly convinced that you are in the right and your parents are in the wrong. Sometimes, you’re right. Sometimes, you’re wrong. Your parents can see where you’ve messed up before you can. If you are right and you know you’re right, save yourself the breath. There are plenty of times you’ve messed up and you didn’t admit it so it’s okay to admit to something you (didn’t) do wrong. I mean- hey, you know you’re right and your parents don’t have to know they’re wrong.
Overall, remember to respect your parents. More than respecting them, appreciate them and all they’ve done for you. You wouldn’t be who you are if they hadn’t raised you. You wouldn’t have gotten to experience all that you have if it wasn’t for your parents. Always remember, they are your biggest fans. They were the first people to love you and the first people you loved back. Through them, you learned to love. So, show them a little respect (even when you don’t feel like they deserve it) and never forget how much they love you.
