So often in the course of our lives it seems we are constantly being pushed to interact with others, make connections, and hone our social skills. Being sociable, after all, is a valuable asset to possess and rightfully so. Extroversion is simply the way of the world, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, this seemingly constant coercion to be social can cause problems, and it does cause problems. Primarily, it attaches a stigma to not only introversion but also being alone. "Being alone" can mean many different things depending on how you interpret it, but the "being alone" that I speak of simply refers to the times when individuals are by themselves. In this world where extroversion is king, there is pressure to surround yourself with others as much as possible, and some people do just that. These people who have mastered social skills and the ability to fit in with a group of peers or associates often are the ones who cannot get comfortable with being alone. There is this constant itch to fit in somewhere, to fill some void within, or to bring noise to their otherwise uncomfortable moments of silence. This is not a strength. This is dependency. This is a weakness.
The inability to find a certain comfortability in being alone is a direct result of the mentality we are pressured into adopting. It seems so easy to slip into thinking that spending time by yourself is shameful, and to some, it may even seem embarrassing. There is this desire to be seen with others by others, and there is this fear of being caught alone. This is what I find shameful. This is what I think is embarrassing. If there was ever a fear that was unwarranted, it is this particular one.
I can speak from experience regarding this issue because I eventually learned to find serenity in my times of solitude, and when I did, the overwhelming need to always be outgoing and social dissipated. There was now a time for just me, and it has since affected me in a number of positive ways. Not only does being alone provide a time for rest and relaxation, but it is the optimal time for reflection. I often find that I'm doing my most productive thinking when I am alone, and this helps me tremendously when I translate my thoughts into words during times of social interaction. Furthermore, I learned the difference between being alone and being lonely, or rather, I learned that there was a difference between the two. Naturally, as humans, we do crave the interaction or connection with others, and there are definitely times when that craving is not satisfied. That is loneliness, and it does not equate to being alone.
Perhaps the most beneficial part of being alone is learning about yourself. That may seem like a funny statement on the surface, but if you look deeper, there is a lot of truth to it. We go our entire lives consciously and subconsciously developing our own unique personalities which envelops our reactions, mannerisms, thoughts, emotions, and much more. There is so much intricacy to each individual, and being alone opens the gates to uncovering our own complex patterns. You should not be afraid of what you find; instead, embrace who you are, and take the time to appreciate all that you have accumulated within.
When I think of my times alone, I think of rain dripping down the window and a fulfilling silence that consumes the air around me. I think of everyone and everything that has brought me to this point in time. I think of how we all are our own individual, and we all play a role in each other's lives. When I'm alone, it draws me closer to the world around me and puts my own life in perspective. I see myself as just another moving part in this beautiful chaos. And I find peace in that.
