The Apex Chapter I: Neon Blues
Start writing a post

I should be an active somebody, and be productive, and energetic like the rest of all Americans. I should be able to be motivated to get out of the sheets, and begin another boring day. I should be like a normal person and do something—anything. Ninety percent of Manhattan is up-and-ready at this moment: working, driving, eating, walking, insert gerund here. I have plans today, in t-minus forty-nine…hundred-and-forty-nine…two hundred-and-nine minutes. Scratch that. Two hundred-and-eight minutes. And here I am, still in my apartment, still in my room, staring straight at a blue ceiling, smothered by a linen comforter. My limbs melting into memory foam. Exhausted.

I'm so pathetic.

Last night, I went to bed early, for the first time in a long time. At exactly 11:00 PM. And like always, I wake up in the critical hours of 1:00-5:00 AM. I was planning to sleep for as long as I could. Hell, I don't even have to go to work until next week—as if that were embarrassing enough. I've done pretty much everything that Google demanded: I've worn earplugs, eye masks, played soothing music, turned off my phone, and chugged down some chamomile. Hell, I've even suffocated my window with blinds, pillows, and duct tape—lots and lots of duct tape. And yet, I've been damned to suffer from this stupid case of insomnia. None of that shit worked.

Except (maybe) the melatonin.

The only thing that seems to brings me company is this stupid light I got from thrift store three years ago. It's a blue cube the size of my hand, with giant LED bulbs that brightens up my entire room. With a little perk, it even shows the time, down to the smallest decisecond. A sign of impending doom for the mornings. It was a spontaneous purchase. Was like ten bucks. I found it in my closet three weeks ago, removing shit I didn't need anymore. Guess I did find a purpose for it after all.

Isn't it stupid for a twenty-four-year-old adult to sleep with a night-light?

I shift towards the left side of my bed, where it's cold, only to have my phone press against my elbow. It makes me sorer than usual. I turn over again, this time away from the phone stomach first, and lie down on the memory form. I rotate my blanket to a side that I haven't used in a few hours, and my body temperature shrinks by a few degrees. It's both prickly and comforting at the same time, my skin crawling with goosebumps and hairs on edge. I stuff my face into my pillows, and breathe through the pillowcase. A minute or so of this and I can make a semi-perfect imprint of my face. I could stay here forever. In comfort in comfort. Smothered by linen. All alone, alone with myself.

Then comes a knock, a fucking thud at the door. Loud and vivacious. Echoing even through my closed door. Thrice in succession. Thrice in a row. I rise in a daze, my palm spread flat on top of my pillow, ruining what was supposed to be a fantastic imprint. I thought the 80's "neighbors asking for sugar" cliché died back in the 90's. And then my phone vibrates, the screen illuminating and playing up to the first thirty seconds of "Dearly Beloved"—I should really get rid of it, it's embarrassing in public. The dead black screen comes to life, portraying a selfie of "Jeffrey 'Jeff' Brooks," a ditzy, yet responsible and likable guy. My best friend, the whom I cancelled brunch plans with this morning.

The one I assume knocks at my door at this very hour, like a lunatic.

"What in the world is going on? Didn't he read my texts?" I exhaustedly mutter under my breaths. I hesitate touching my phone. Wouldn't it be nice to pretend I wasn't home and wait until he leaves? Couldn't I just chuck my phone to the other side of my room and hide under the sheets? Would it be acceptable to ghost a ghost that suddenly, out of the blue, yesterday afternoon, tries to reunite with me after working a three-month-long internship from Deutschland? I feel the heat trickling down my neck, as the rings continue. My guilt is enough. I slide my screen to the right of the green answer button and immediately place him on speaker.

It doesn't matter if you're a ghost or not. You will live on as an asshole in spirit.

"H-hello?"

"Sup, Adrian! You ready for brunch or not? What? Don't tell me you forgot!" Jeff replies, chuckling under his breath.

"No, I…didn't." I stretch out that last word while minimizing the call and switching to my messages, to see what the hell went wrong. I know he's persistent, but damn, this takes the cake. I look at my chat history, and browse the evidence quickly, starting with the bottom speech bubbles.

Yesterday:

JEFF: "So quick change of plans the restaurant that we agreed on is closed tomorrow for renovations I just walked past it today should I just meet you at your place and we can talk about stuff and what we wanna do???

ME: "I do know its a grate ida maybe caramels?

JEFF: "KK..lol sounds good"

Today:

JEFF: "Hey I'm here you up?"

JEFF: "Hellooo?"

JEFF: "?

I frustratedly punch into the memory foam thrice in a row. I meant to type "I don't think it's a great idea. Maybe cancel?" I was so dazed last night that I didn't pay attention to my stupid spelling. I sound like a drunkard, illiterate and out of his mind. Great. Now I have to go. I knew I should have double-checked. Perfect. Here I thought I was in the clear, and now there's Jeff outside, raring to go, occupied by a closed door.

Damn autocorrect.

"Hellooo! Anyone there? Adrian?"

"Just give me a sec!" I frantically reply, kicking ten pounds of sheets off my bed. I bounce off the carpet, and sprint towards my bedroom door, only for my left foot to clash against the blue cube. I step on one of the edges, and recoil from the shock. I hiss under my breath and frustratedly punt it towards the right. Stupid little shit! I open my bedroom door, and sprint my living room's hardwood floor. Great, now I'm motivated—in the wrong way—flushed up with adrenaline.

I can't keep him waiting like this; I just can't! Any more of this and it's going to get more awkward as it already is! Great, this sucks. This sucks, this sucks, this fucking sucks! I press my heels against the elongated edges of my jogging pants and slide across the front door, like an amateur figure-skater a frozen duck pond...at night. I can hear him inside and outside the door, with his bombastic volume and the speaker. I quickly remove the bolt out of the latch, and open up for the day, clumsily.

Here stands before him a loner in the dark.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

113441

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers

1591658

Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

993897
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series

911448
Netflix

Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

593890
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

379700
Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?

496214

Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments