The Apex Chapter I: Neon Blues

I should be an active somebody, and be productive, and energetic like the rest of all Americans. I should be able to be motivated to get out of the sheets, and begin another boring day. I should be like a normal person and do something—anything. Ninety percent of Manhattan is up-and-ready at this moment: working, driving, eating, walking, insert gerund here. I have plans today, in t-minus forty-nine…hundred-and-forty-nine…two hundred-and-nine minutes. Scratch that. Two hundred-and-eight minutes. And here I am, still in my apartment, still in my room, staring straight at a blue ceiling, smothered by a linen comforter. My limbs melting into memory foam. Exhausted.

I'm so pathetic.

Last night, I went to bed early, for the first time in a long time. At exactly 11:00 PM. And like always, I wake up in the critical hours of 1:00-5:00 AM. I was planning to sleep for as long as I could. Hell, I don't even have to go to work until next week—as if that were embarrassing enough. I've done pretty much everything that Google demanded: I've worn earplugs, eye masks, played soothing music, turned off my phone, and chugged down some chamomile. Hell, I've even suffocated my window with blinds, pillows, and duct tape—lots and lots of duct tape. And yet, I've been damned to suffer from this stupid case of insomnia. None of that shit worked.

Except (maybe) the melatonin.

The only thing that seems to brings me company is this stupid light I got from thrift store three years ago. It's a blue cube the size of my hand, with giant LED bulbs that brightens up my entire room. With a little perk, it even shows the time, down to the smallest decisecond. A sign of impending doom for the mornings. It was a spontaneous purchase. Was like ten bucks. I found it in my closet three weeks ago, removing shit I didn't need anymore. Guess I did find a purpose for it after all.

Isn't it stupid for a twenty-four-year-old adult to sleep with a night-light?

I shift towards the left side of my bed, where it's cold, only to have my phone press against my elbow. It makes me sorer than usual. I turn over again, this time away from the phone stomach first, and lie down on the memory form. I rotate my blanket to a side that I haven't used in a few hours, and my body temperature shrinks by a few degrees. It's both prickly and comforting at the same time, my skin crawling with goosebumps and hairs on edge. I stuff my face into my pillows, and breathe through the pillowcase. A minute or so of this and I can make a semi-perfect imprint of my face. I could stay here forever. In comfort in comfort. Smothered by linen. All alone, alone with myself.

Then comes a knock, a fucking thud at the door. Loud and vivacious. Echoing even through my closed door. Thrice in succession. Thrice in a row. I rise in a daze, my palm spread flat on top of my pillow, ruining what was supposed to be a fantastic imprint. I thought the 80's "neighbors asking for sugar" cliché died back in the 90's. And then my phone vibrates, the screen illuminating and playing up to the first thirty seconds of "Dearly Beloved"—I should really get rid of it, it's embarrassing in public. The dead black screen comes to life, portraying a selfie of "Jeffrey 'Jeff' Brooks," a ditzy, yet responsible and likable guy. My best friend, the whom I cancelled brunch plans with this morning.

The one I assume knocks at my door at this very hour, like a lunatic.

"What in the world is going on? Didn't he read my texts?" I exhaustedly mutter under my breaths. I hesitate touching my phone. Wouldn't it be nice to pretend I wasn't home and wait until he leaves? Couldn't I just chuck my phone to the other side of my room and hide under the sheets? Would it be acceptable to ghost a ghost that suddenly, out of the blue, yesterday afternoon, tries to reunite with me after working a three-month-long internship from Deutschland? I feel the heat trickling down my neck, as the rings continue. My guilt is enough. I slide my screen to the right of the green answer button and immediately place him on speaker.

It doesn't matter if you're a ghost or not. You will live on as an asshole in spirit.


"Sup, Adrian! You ready for brunch or not? What? Don't tell me you forgot!" Jeff replies, chuckling under his breath.

"No, I…didn't." I stretch out that last word while minimizing the call and switching to my messages, to see what the hell went wrong. I know he's persistent, but damn, this takes the cake. I look at my chat history, and browse the evidence quickly, starting with the bottom speech bubbles.


JEFF: "So quick change of plans the restaurant that we agreed on is closed tomorrow for renovations I just walked past it today should I just meet you at your place and we can talk about stuff and what we wanna do???

ME: "I do know its a grate ida maybe caramels?

JEFF: " sounds good"


JEFF: "Hey I'm here you up?"

JEFF: "Hellooo?"

JEFF: "?

I frustratedly punch into the memory foam thrice in a row. I meant to type "I don't think it's a great idea. Maybe cancel?" I was so dazed last night that I didn't pay attention to my stupid spelling. I sound like a drunkard, illiterate and out of his mind. Great. Now I have to go. I knew I should have double-checked. Perfect. Here I thought I was in the clear, and now there's Jeff outside, raring to go, occupied by a closed door.

Damn autocorrect.

"Hellooo! Anyone there? Adrian?"

"Just give me a sec!" I frantically reply, kicking ten pounds of sheets off my bed. I bounce off the carpet, and sprint towards my bedroom door, only for my left foot to clash against the blue cube. I step on one of the edges, and recoil from the shock. I hiss under my breath and frustratedly punt it towards the right. Stupid little shit! I open my bedroom door, and sprint my living room's hardwood floor. Great, now I'm motivated—in the wrong way—flushed up with adrenaline.

I can't keep him waiting like this; I just can't! Any more of this and it's going to get more awkward as it already is! Great, this sucks. This sucks, this sucks, this fucking sucks! I press my heels against the elongated edges of my jogging pants and slide across the front door, like an amateur figure-skater a frozen duck night. I can hear him inside and outside the door, with his bombastic volume and the speaker. I quickly remove the bolt out of the latch, and open up for the day, clumsily.

Here stands before him a loner in the dark.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

-Having struggled with acne prone skin for years, I was cautious to try a new serum on top of the other products I've come to trust.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Your Social Activism May Actually Benefit From A Cleansing Social Media Detox

In the craziest year of our lives, sometimes there's value in taking a break.

We are living through, unequivocally, one of the most dangerous, unstable, chaotic periods of any of our lives. From COVID-19 to crises of police brutality to the mass exploitation of the poor by mega-corporations, the world outside seems to be looking more dystopic every day. What can be done about it? For many, activism involves heavily posting on social media to keep others aware. However, this comes with a net negative cost — increased levels of anxiety, depression, and hopelessness about the state of the world. Why might this be? After all, in past eras activists have endured comparable and greater levels of abuse and relentless torment from oppressors. Why, now, are people getting so easily burnt out?

Keep Reading... Show less

Reading is a relaxing activity that provides many benefits. Everybody reads books (when they are not watching Netflix, chatting on social media, or making Tik Tok videos) to distract themselves from reality for a while. Many do not realize the positive impact that books have like reducing stress, assisting with sleep, improving cognitively, and strengthening the mind. In honor of National Book Day, there are many great novels that you can read to mark this special holiday. Here are the best ones to check out.

Keep Reading... Show less

5 Things You Need To Know Before You Watch 'Arrested Development' On Netflix

"Her?" Yes, she's an amazing show! (You'll get this joke after you watch the show).


"Arrested Development" is an award-winning sitcom that aired for three seasons on Fox beginning in 2003, and then was picked up by Netflix for a fourth season in 2013, and then again for a final season in 2018.

However, it seems to remain one of the world's most underrated and under-appreciated shows of all time. Although this article alone won't be enough to skyrocket the show to Netflix's top 10, I hope that it will open people's eyes to the value and quality of the show.

Keep Reading... Show less

I have always felt left out because of how I look and who I am. I have always felt like the elephant in the room, literally. I have always been shamed for my size. For the longest time, I cared so much about what I wear and who I wore certain things in front of. I never wanted to wear shirts that would show a lot of my arm, located above my elbow. I wouldn't wear shorts that didn't go to the tip of my knees, at least. I never wore anything remotely tight, where you could see every curve, roll, or imperfection. I was so insecure about myself, and not many of my friends knew.

Keep Reading... Show less

Being a pharmacy technician never held as many risks as it does now. Exposure too hazardous conditions were little to none, and garbing up was only conducted in IV compounding. But, now, in order to give nurses the medications they need to help their patients, they need us, pharmacy technicians.

Keep Reading... Show less

I Asked My Boyfriend His Opinion On Liking Other Girls’ Pictures, And, Spoiler Alert, It's Cheating

"When you get into a relationship and you're in love, you have to realize that liking photos is for the single lifestyle."

Ladies, listen up. If you are in a relationship with a guy and he is liking other girls' pictures on social media, then it's a red flag. A man who can look at someone else and show interest by liking it means he doesn't care about your feelings AT ALL.

Keep Reading... Show less

Celebrities Stealing Designs From Small Fashion Labels Is NOT A Good Look, And They Need To Pay Up

When larger, more established figures or brands steal from lesser-known independent creators, they are taking opportunities away from these creators while also profiting from someone else's work and claiming it as their own.

Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B recently collaborated on their new single "WAP," with the music video also being released on Friday. Both Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B posted photos of themselves on Instagram to celebrate the premiere of "WAP." An independent designer quickly noticed that the rappers' matching tops were copies of a top she had designed last year.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

When You Have A Disability, Finding A Job Is Twice As Hard, Believe Me, I Know

We have got to create a safer work environment for people with disabilities.

"My advice to other disabled people would be, concentrate on things your disability doesn't prevent you from doing well, and don't regret the things it interferes with. Don't be disabled in spirit as well as physically." – Stephen Hawking

Keep Reading... Show less

7 Books That Are NOT In The Young Adult Genre That Will Change Your Life

Young Adult isn't the only genre that exists, so here are seven books that any book lover wanting to try something new will love.

One of the most popular genres in literature that everyone has read at least one book from is Young Adult fiction. Now, I personally can say that, in the past, I have been one of those people that only read from the YA section of the bookstore.
While there is absolutely nothing wrong with just reading one genre, it's good sometimes to venture out of your reading comfort zone into the other book genres of the literary world.

In a previous article, I discussed the importance and power of words. The perfect example of this is literature and its impact on the world. Books have always played a crucial part in human lives, from how we are able to expand our knowledge to how we pass our time.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments