The Christmas season is finally upon us. The stress of finals is over and the holidays are just over the horizon. Families are beginning to make plans for their reunions and everyone is starting to think about what they are getting each other for Christmas. It's during this time that I write out my own list and realize how short it is compared to the lists I had created as a child.
When comparing my childhood lists to my adult Christmas lists, I can't help but notice the stark contrast. I have told my friends on more than one occasion that making Christmas lists as an adult is "so much harder" because I can't just "watch commercials and see a toy I want." Whenever I can't figure out what to put on my Christmas list, I always tell people it's because "I don't want anything." However, I don't think that's the issue. I don't think our Christmas lists shrink because we don't "want" anything. I think they shrink because we realize that the things we want are things that we can't buy ourselves in a store.
As we age our Christmas lists change from Legos, stuffed animals, and moon shoes to things that aren't quite as material. Our list change to intimacy, courage, and a sense of peace. It's in our adulthood that we realize the things we really want are not things we can buy. But for me, the real question isn't, "How do I find these things?" The question to me is, "When did I stop having these things?"
When exactly was it when I first started to feel this way? When did I start to feel worried about my future? When did I lose my courage? When did I start to feel like something was missing in my life? Was it when I started middle school? High school? College? When I was little my main concern was whether or not my mom had packed my swimming goggles when we went to the pool. Now I feel like I'm constantly worried about my future. After all, I don't know of any store that sells goggles so you can see through the waters of life.
But throughout these thoughts, I have come to one conclusion. Maybe Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year because it's one of the only times when we feel like everything will work out. We feel a sense of peace, the love of our family, and the magic of the holidays. Santa may not be able to bring us courage. But then again, he really doesn't need to.
We have family, friends, and God. So even if you don't get everything on your Christmas list this year, one thing is for certain. You will be okay. Everything will work out in the end. Whether it works out the way we imagine or not. We will always be exactly where we are meant to be. Even if where we are meant to be doesn't always feel like it's where we should be. So stop worrying about the future and enjoy this holiday season. It really is the most wonderful time of the year.
