A few weeks ago I decided to set up a Tinder account -- no, I'm not that girl. I actually created an account because a) I wanted to screenshot and laugh at how many of my guy friends use it, and b) I need a good source of humor for the dull moments of life. Wow, I wasn't disappointed. Boys on Tinder are hilarious, desperate, and unbelievably basic.
It is my pleasure to introduce the 7 types of boys you find on Tinder:
1. Need a wife now.
The lonely 30-year-old who really just wants someone to spend his life with forever. Dude, why are you even Tinder? Go make a profile on eHarmony or something!
2. We can take cute snapchat selfies together.
The basic of allllll basics: dog filter selfie, WITH a snapchat caption. Can we even take you seriously when there's floppy ears sticking out of your head? No.
3. Hookups only please!!!
The guy who uses Tinder solely for hookups, which is why it exists in the first place, right? Joe, I don't know who you are, but no "smart girl" is going to give you her dumb booty.
4. My mom thinks I'm sweet.
The "family guy," who posts pictures with his mom and sisters in the attempt to melt your heart. It's also a sad attempt to reassure you that he doesn't have a girlfriend and doesn't want to hook up. You do look like a sweetheart, Justin, I'll give you that.
5. I'm tall, and that is all.
The guy who has his height as the only feature of his profile, just in case any girl was questioning whether or not he was too short for her I suppose that's a legitimate question, but for some weird reason, they're all 6'3"???
6. I have a chauffeur to take us on dates.
The classic [frat?] boy who wears salmon-colored pants to make himself look rich and walks his dog that also comes from a royal breed. The dog's a nice touch, Matt; did your butler take that picture of you?
7. Group pics or nah?
The guy who only uses pictures of him with his friends, leaving you to wonder: which one is actually him? Is he the one wearing the hat? The one with long hair? The guy in the blue shorts? We'll never know.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are exceptions. But seriously, this app cracks me up.
