College guys are a strange category of up and coming men. Everyone you meet will confuse you just as much, if not more, than the last. By the end of college, you will be asking the Lord above how most married couples met in college. Four years of college bars, frat parties, and football game tailgates, you are sure to cross paths with more than two of these adorably frustrating guys...
1. The Frat Star
He is a staple at any college, he is cute, and he is always sporting a t-shirt from last year's bid-day. This guy's interests include, but are not limited to, his frat, girls, his frat, this weekend's day drink, and...wait for it, his frat. He will consider taking you to his formals and date parties as the equivalent of a grand romantic gesture and if you're lucky, he might even post a picture of you two at either of those functioncs, on the 'gram. If you two are hooking up, expect a knock on the door from his roommate who wants to know if he should get a keg of Busch Light or Natty Light for this weekend's "darty".
2. The Really Good Guy Friend
He is kind, funny, cute in an unusual way, and is always there when you want to go get food at 2 am when you're on your period. This is the guy that treats you right, motivates you to be a good person, and always helps you when you need it. At first, you'll wonder why you didn't go for him all along but then you'll realize that if he is like that with you, he is most likely like that with every girl friend he has and you will increasingly become more jealous that that kind of attention is not only yours.
3. The Athlete Who Is Always "Grinding"
He is at the gym at 6 a.m. sharp with his roommate, he only eats protein, he only drinks Gatorade, and if you need to find him between the hours of 6-8 p.m., he is at practice. On your first date, almost every funny story he tells you will involve one of his teammates and he will consider his coach to be the greatest person who has ever walked this Earth. The reason most of your hang-outs are canceled are due to the fact that he just got home from the gym or practice and he needs a shower with a side of some sleep. If you want any quality time with him, I suggest showing up to his game and squeezing in a kiss at half-time.
4. The Party-er
He lives off campus in a house with 5 others of his kind and it is extremely messy. All of the snaps he sends to you are of him holding a beer and pretending to rap to Kendrick Lamar's new album "Damn". If you want to have a good time, hook up on a Wednesday night, or win in a game of Beer Pong, he is the perfect guy. He is great and all, but eventually you will want someone who isn't waking up on a mattress in a kitchen every Saturday morning.
5. The "Cultured" Guy
He has been to London, Rome, Paris, and Colorado. He carries his guitar on his back and smells like Old Spice body spray. He will tell you all about the great times he had in London at the bar when he was 16 and make you feel like he has just done it all. In all actuality, his dad is in the military and his mom lives in Colorado. Yes, he may have made out with an Italian girl in a bar, but don't let him fool you, he is no European Don Juan.
6. The Wall Street Wannabe
He is smart, well-dressed, clean-cut and cute. He has worked at the golf club in his hometown and met a millionaire one time that just absolutely mesmerized him enough to where he can no only see people in terms of monetary worth. He owns 2 suits from Men's Warehouse, he is a Business Major with a minor in Finance at a huge school. If you want to date someone with an ego the size of Jupiter, go ahead. He can take care of you financially and will make sure you have the finer things in life, but unless you want someone who acts like Jordan Belfort, I would suggest finding another dude.
7. The Guy Higher Than A Kite
He owns a drug rug hoodie, listens to Bob Marley, and can list his top three favorite types of weed faster than the last three movies he has seen. He is a little too laid back and will make you realize that not everything in life needs to be taken so seriously. 95% of these guys have man buns and preach about not judging people and wanting to live the best life they can live all while packing their bowl and flicking a Bic lighter. There is no doubt he is a good person, but you need someone who has his priorities straight by the age of 23.
