It's that time of the semester where we have to sign up for our spring classes. Enrolling in classes can be pretty nerve-racking. While classes can be easy or tough, it's really the professors that can make or break you. Some professors will make you despise what was once your favorite subject (see my first semester chemistry professor for details,) and others will make you love what you didn't even know you were interested in. Every professor is different, but I am here to shed some light onto a handful of different types of professors that I've seem to come across thus far in my college career.
1. The Technophobe.
Technophobia is the fear or resistance to new technology or computerization. In that definition, resistance is the key word. While I haven't had any professors that feared technology, I have had many that hate it. Back when they were in college, "when dinosaurs roamed the earth," as they will probably joke, they didn't have the technology we do. They had to take notes by hand, and want you to do the same thing. This professor probably has some added section in their syllabus about how you are not to use computers or phones in class. They'll tell you that it's because some kids will get on Netflix and waste time. That's the technophobe in them talking. Sure, some kids probably would just go on Netflix, but other bright young pupils, such as myself (toot, toot), are detailed note takers, and the pace at which professor technophobe lectures cannot be matched by the speed that your pencil-wielding hand can write. Typing is faster. There are a few technophobes that are unaware that they are technophobes, though. Pity these ones. Chances are, they think that adding slide transitions to their PowerPoints is high-tech. In general, it is most likely that they just don't really know how to use technology, and prefer not to bother.
Recognizable statements: "Bear with me here..." (struggles with opening Microsoft PowerPoint for five minutes).
2. The Class Canceler.
While a first glance at the glorious title of "Class Canceler," may seem like a professor you'd want, take a minute to look into this. Every once in a while, it's great to have class canceled. Most professors let you know at the beginning of the semester on their syllabus if they will be canceling a class at some point. The class canceler will not do this. You will receive a mass email from the class canceler 10 minutes before class starts with the announcement that you, in fact, do not need to be there. Sometimes their reasons seem okay, and sometimes it will be for reasons such as, "Too cold out. Didn't want to walk to my car," or, "It's my birthday and I don't feel like having class today." (I wish I were making up those two reasons for the sake of this article being entertaining, but no.That really happened.)
Through the semester, your expectations from class canceler will lower, but don't let your guard down. Their expectations of you will not budge. Whether you have class or not, your tests will be on the scheduled days (somehow the canceler always makes it to exam days -- further studies on this phenomena are being conducted) and all the material you were expected to learn will be covered. Check online for notes.
Special notes: Do not take a class with a technophobic canceler. You will miss class, and the notes will not be posted online.
3. The Syllabus Worshiper.
If you want to know everything you need to know about a class before the beginning of the semester, check to see if your professor has a syllabus that exceeds 15 pages in length. If the answer is yes, your professor is most likely a syllabus worshiper. Don't fear. Syllabus worshipers aren't always bad. You just can't expect any help from them outside of class. The good news is, everything is in the syllabus.The bad news is, everything is in the syllabus. Your pleas for answers over dates, exams, office hours, and more will only be met with stern looks and silence. If you look hard enough, you can read, "It's in the syllabus," printed across their depthless, black pupils as they stare into your soul. If you get a syllabus worshiper, your first quiz is most likely going to be about the syllabus, so you might as well start reading it before the class even begins.
Repeating patterns: Every email to a syllabus worshiper will be met with a reply of, "Check syllabus."
4. The One Whose Accent You Can't Understand.
Before the beginning of any new class, I suggest placing a towel or blanket on top of your desk to muffle the sound of your jaw hitting it when the professor whose accent you can't understand starts talking. Don't run home afterwards and drop the class, though. I promise this one isn't as bad as you think, and they are completely qualified to be teaching you what you need to know. Chances are, this professor is well aware of their thick accent. In past classes, students have probably complained (through email of course) that they cannot follow the lecture. The great news for you is that means this professor has started putting everything online. I mean everything. You'll find announcements, notes, study guides, and everything else your studious heart desires. When you find yourself sitting in their class squinting, as if that somehow might help you hear through their accent, you'll just be able to fire up your laptop, pull up the lecture, and follow along that way. These professors are usually very nice because they know it's hard for you to learn something you don't understand when you literally don't understand as well. Don't be afraid to email this professor for help.
Side note: The professor whose accent you can't understand and the technophobe are usually mutually exclusive, so your laptops will be welcome here during class. Have fun on Netflix, you sneak.
5. The Professor Who Doesn't Realize They're Teaching A Gen-Ed.
How dare you walk into English 101 and think it's going to be easy! Not on this professor's watch! While most professors of gen-ed classes realize that you're there because you have to be, this professor is going to make sure you see their face in you nightmares. While you scroll through snapchat stories as you procrastinate between all of your homework assignments in this class, you'll see your friends out having fun. Why? Because they have professors that know their students are only taking this class to get it over with before their major courses. All they have is four tests for the whole semester, and thanks to your professor, you have essays every week, and maybe even some community service hours on top of that. This is not a joke -- that really happened. If you can afford to drop this class and take it with a different professor, do it. This professor feeds off of crushed dreams and student's tears.
Recognizable statements: "This may be a gen-ed, but this is information you will need in the real world."
6. The Young One.
This professor can be tricky. They're pretty new to teaching, and are probably more intimidated of you than you are of them. There are usually two sub-categories of this professor because they are stuck on the borderline of being a peer and a superior. (A "supeerior," if you will.)
The peer. These are usually the nicest professors, but not always the best if you're looking to learn as much as you can. They know how hard school is because they practically just graduated. For this reason, they'll want to make things as easy as possible for you. This is great, unless your next step, after this class is over, is advancing onto the next level. Suddenly you'll realize that somehow you're far behind everyone else. Get this professor for gen-eds.
The superior. Be cautious with the superior. They are trying to make their mark in the teaching world. They are probably equally concerned with you fearing their superiority as they are with you actually learning the material. Chances are they also want to prove just how smart they are, despite their young age, and they will do this by making the material more challenging. The harder it is, the more students will have to ask for help, and the higher their young ego's are boosted.
Common practice: This professor won't take attendance, but they will have "surprise" assignments (for points) every day in class.
The key too all of this is finding a balance. What do you want in a professor and what are you willing to compromise? There are some incredible professors out there, and there are some you're going to not like. Truth be told, you're bound to encounter each of these types of professors at least once in your college career. All you can do is take it by semester, and know that some will be better than others. In the end, you can pride yourself in just having gotten through it.
