Finals week is upon us, and with that comes the kind of self-deception, exhaustion, and mental instability usually reserved for Netflix binges. Except this week, it matters: your GPA hangs in the balance of how you use your time and what you can get done in the hours leading up to the exam. It can be an emotional time, and with that comes the obligatory stages of grieving for finals week. Here they are, in order:
1. Denial
It's fine. Everything's fine. You have a 72 in the class, but no worries, you'll just score a 95 on the exam after attending about three lectures and reading none of the material. And if you don't, who cares anyway? We're all going to die eventually and our achievements and accomplishments will pass into the void and we won't be remembered after we're gone and Earth explodes, so overall, this exam means nothing.
2. Anger
It's the professor's fault. She assigned an absurd amount of busy work that distracted you. Why did you even take Economics, anyway? You hate math and corporate businesses. Your friends were plotting against you by not giving you a fair warning. The library is too loud, the internet is too slow, your study plan is a failure, and you're about to flip a table in order to relieve this tension and stress that's built up inside of you all semester.
3. Bargaining
Maybe if you study for an hour with no distractions and you don't talk to your best friend Jackie for the entire time, the universe will reward you with a passing grade. Or maybe if you do a random act of kindness at some point, for the karmic help. Maybe if you buy Kevin a fat sandwich you can bribe him to explain the past four lectures to you. If you stay up until 4 am the night of the exam, it'll be enough to prove to whatever higher power is really above us that you deserve an A.
4. Grieving
This is pointless. Nothing is going to help you escape the inevitable failure that you are. Just lay on your bed and listen to Adele, because that's about equivalent to the use you're going to get out of studying at this point. Also, try to cry in the shower, not in public. Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know.
5. Acceptance
Relax. You prepared and you're ready. You're back and you're better. The semester will be over soon, and summer is going to re-energize and re-charge your life. The three hours you spend taking the test are miniscule compared to the relief you'll feel after. Now start prepping for next year!
