Summer is finally here, and chances are that if you haven't been working on your summer body since, like, November of last year, your summer body isn't quite how you want it to be. So what do you do? DIET. As someone who loves all sorts of food that is bad for you, dieting has not been easy. If you're like me, dieting is never easy. Here are the main stages of dieting grief that everyone goes through.
1. Denial
You totally think you can do this. Who needs sugar for two weeks? Not you, that's right. This will be a breeze, and you're going to look great and feel great. Having a flat stomach is totally worth not indulging in an ice cream cone or a slice of someone's birthday cake, right? Maybe you should start eating this way forever, just to see how much you can lose. This'll be easy peasy.
2. Anger
You totally cannot do this. What kind of evil maniac decided to invent a diet with absolutely no sugar? You can't even have an apple for the first two weeks! Are you kidding?! Food can't even make me happy right now! I can't eat my feelings! Wow, I didn't realize how cranky I would be without all that sugar in me. Is everyone trying to piss me off today? I guess my patience level is directly dependent on how many sweets I can have. Why is this weight not immediately falling off me, because I am 100% sick of not having bread. I just want the no-sugar-phase to be over already. And why am I so tired?! Someone get me a f***ing apple!!!
3. Bargaining
Alright, you've been a little cranky. Maybe it would be best for everyone if I just tweaked the diet a little? I can totally have those french fries if I just make up for it tomorrow right? It's just one day, it can't hurt the diet that much, right? I can have chicken tenders right? Who cares if they're fried, it's still technically chicken. God I would just do anything for a piece of chocolate. Or a beer. This glass of wine will make me a happier person, please don't count it against me.
4. Depression
I've made it this far, I've been doing so well, and the weight loss has become visibly noticeable... but all I want in life right now is ice cream and chocolate cake. I'll never be able to eat them again, not if I want to continue looking good. Once I start indulging again I'm just going to be fat forever, I know it. That's it, I can no longer enjoy food. What will I do with my life? What will ever make me as happy as that chocolate cake? Nothing. I will forever be that annoying "I'm on a diet" basic bitch. Food will henceforth never make me happy ever again. And I can't even eat my feelings.
5. Acceptance
I've made it so far and haven't really bent any rules. I feel a little better, I look a little better - great! I'm so close to being done. I've been dreaming about that double fudge brownie, and I'll definitely treat myself once I'm finally done, but it's all about moderation. I don't want all that pain, suffering, and hard work to go to waste within a day! Eating this way isn't so bad. But neither is a little indulgence. Thank god it's almost over. And I've slimmed down just in time for the beach!
Let's be real - diets are a little stressful. You're not only changing up your daily eating routine, your entire grocery list, and the amount of time it may take to prepare all your food; but you're also changing up what goes into your body, what fuels it, and that can have its own repercussions. Your body might be a little confused and thrown off by what it can and cannot have. If you're used to functioning off certain foods, like sugar to keep you awake, then you're in for a real ass-kicking. Just keep in mind that the first couple of days are always the hardest, but after that it slowly gets more and more manageable. Diets are tough, but if you're trying to lose weight and/or adopt a healthier lifestyle, the best place to start is with the food you eat. And if you have an undying sweet tooth like me, just keep in mind that it's all about moderation. Try to keep it 95% good food, 5% sweets. You can have the best of both worlds without tearing up your body inside and out.
