Every person comes into the world already bound by relationships; when you are born, you automatically form a relationship with your mother, father, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and others before you even know what relationships are or what they entail. As you progress through your life, you meet and form bonds with hundreds of other people, as well; these people are not tied to you through blood, but rather by choice. No matter what your relationship dynamic is, it requires certain things in order to grow and remain strong over time. Similar to the way that plants require water and sunlight in order to survive, relationships demand five specific things in order to thrive. These five things are the pillars of every healthy relationship: do your relationships consist of all five?
1. Respect
Contrary to popular belief, it is respect, not love, that is the absolute most important requirement of any relationship. Relationships can survive without love but no relationship can survive without mutual respect, and any relationship that does not provide equality and reverence can be easily deemed toxic. Relationships that lack respect and honor are the ones that easily fall victim to insecurity, jealousy, and mistrust. The individuals who do not respect you are the ones who raise their voices when things do not go their way and cross boundaries that they are meant to enforce. Mutual respect is a necessity in any relationship; some relationships may have love, but lack respect. Someone may claim to love you while simultaneously manipulating you into bending to their will. Respect means acknowledging the contributions of the other person, admiring their attributes, not using their weaknesses or shortcomings against them, and compromising when needed.
2. Trust
Trust: not just the name of a popular Justin Bieber song, but also another important factor in any relationship. Respect and trust are the foundations of every relationship, the branches that love grows on. What is a relationship without trust? It is when doubt, jealousy, and insecurity corrupt the mind and ultimately form barriers between people. Trust provides security to both individuals in the relationship that they are with people who will cater to their needs and remain stable parts of their lives. Trust must be given in order to be received, and once it is lost, it is sometimes impossible to earn back. Form relationships with people that you can trust; put your faith in people who do what they say and say what they mean. Believe in the actions of a person over their words, and do not confuse trusting someone with trusting someone blindly.
3. Communication
The words that are said that should not have been said, as well as the words that should have been said but were not, have the ability to ruin the dynamic between two individuals beyond repair. Sometimes it is due to ego or pride that people are unable to share their feelings effectively, leading to miscommunication. It is important for both people in any relationship to be able to effectively convey their thoughts and feelings to the other person; many people fail to understand how easily some misunderstandings can be cleared with just one honest conversation. Form a relationship with someone who is willing to confront a problem with you and work to sort it out, rather than someone who chooses to ignore the problem and refuses to communicate with you. Be willing to put your pride aside in order to share your honest feelings and thoughts with your partner. Be honest, kind, and respectful. Do not listen for the sole purpose of answering back, but rather listen in order to understand the mindset and feelings of the other person.
Respect, trust, and communication are vital parts of each and every relationship, and are things that you should seek when moving your relationship forward with a friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, or any important person in your life. However, even three pillars out of five is not good enough! Want to see if your relationships have the other two pillars that make every relationship successful? Read my article, "The 5 Pillars of a Healthy Relationship (Part 2)" to learn about the importance of independence and loyalty in every relationship.
