I was first introduced to depression about 20 years ago.
I was yet to be born, but already filled with those funny little guys we like to call genes. Before I even took my first breath, I was destined to depression! Countless members of my family struggle with it, and guess what? It’s genetic.
As an adolescent, my depression hid itself inside of anger. As a high schooler, loneliness. As a college student, shame. All the while covered up with a smile so that no one would know. My entire life I have ridden the roller coaster of an unstable mind, and I have believed the lies that the world has told me about it. More often, I have even denied its reality.
So, what does this have to do with you?
Whether depression affects you directly or not, it has become an issue in our society that we all need to deal with. It’s affecting our families, our friendships, and our communities. It's time to take action. Before we look at how to fight depression, it is important that we begin with understanding what depression really is.
Circumstantial depression:
This is pretty self-explanatory. A loved one dies, you get dumped, you move away, you graduate high school, your school work is overwhelming. Life gets intense, and darkness attacks. It’s like getting a mental flu: it’s a virus that needs to be dealt with. More than likely, everyone will experience this at least once in their life.
Clinical depression:
On the other hand, clinical depression is more comparable to a disease than a virus. It has to do with the chemicals in your brain and how they are balanced or, as in my case, unbalanced. It’s a sickness encoded into your DNA. It’s an uncontrollable disorder.
The crazy thing is that neither of these forms of depression are uncommon. In the United States, alone, depression affects one in 10 people (click here to see more surprising facts about depression). My purpose in writing this, however, is not to call for the end of the depression. It’s not going to happen. My purpose is to call for the readjusting of our perspectives, and consequently, our reactions. So here we go.
The three not-so-easy steps for fighting depression.
Step #1: Don’t believe the lies.
As victims of depression, we believe discrediting lies about our ailment all the time.
People will think less of me if they know.
I’m the only one.
It’s never going to end.
I can fix this on my own.
As onlookers of depression, we do the same.
It’s easy to fix if you try hard enough.
It’s just a phase; he’ll grow out of it.
She just wants attention.
It’s all in their head.
It’s not that bad.
The Huffington Post wrote a great article expanding on more of these myths about depression that our society believes. Their introduction to this article says it all: “Battling the stigma surrounding the true origins of depression and how people with the disease suffer in distinct ways requires debunking myths and defying stereotypes that have incorrectly defined it for so long.”
I think the first step to readjusting our mindsets in regard to depression, and other mental illnesses, is to realize that it is a sickness. This illustration describes it perfectly: we wouldn’t tell someone with the flu to just “try harder” to not have the flu. We wouldn’t tell someone sick with food poisoning that they’re not making enough effort to get better. Yes, depression is a mental illness. It attacks your mind. But that doesn’t mean it’s something made up inside your mind.
On the other hand, victims of depression need to adopt the same mindset. Talking about our sickness shouldn’t be embarrassing. Seeking help shouldn’t be shameful. Admitting that we are on medication shouldn’t make us feel weak or inadequate. Being affected is out of our control, but how we respond to it is completely in our control.
Depression is not an identity, and we need to stop acting like it is. It’s a part of my life. It’s something I fight every day. But it is not me. However, it is not enough to merely eliminate the lies, for the resulting gaps must be filled with truth. Which leads us to the next step.
Step #2: Get help.
When depression strikes, it attacks the mind first. However, if not dealt with, the darkness of depression can easily bleed into your physical and spiritual health. In my own experience, because of my unwillingness to seek help, I let my struggle with anxiety and depression lead to a decline in my physical health: constant nausea, loss of appetite, physical exhaustion, ringing ears, shaky hands. And without a doubt, my spiritual health tried to follow: hopelessness, fear, anger, disbelief.
Yet, because of all the lies I was believing about my disorder, I was scared to get help. I was embarrassed to share with my friends and family what was happening to me. I felt ashamed to even admit to myself that depression was causing me to fall apart. But it soon became so clear to me how wrong I was.
We can't fight depression on our own. This past year has been incredibly humbling for me as I have sought help from those around me. I never realized how much easier the battle can be with people on my side. I told my friends, my family, my teachers, my doctor. They were undoubtedly some of the scariest conversations I've ever had. The people in my life are an amazing help to me, but I had to ask. I had to tell.
If you’ve been battling this alone, I beg you to ask for help. Tell your friends. Tell your family. Seek their accountability and their understanding. Explain it to your teachers. Your coaches. Your co-workers. Your boss. Seek the help of your doctor and see if medical attention can help. This isn’t a personal issue to be secretive about. It’s a disease affecting your life, and those who are a part of your life ought to know.
If you aren’t a part of the battle, I beg you to join. Be someone who combats the lies and is ready to understand and support those who do suffer from depression. Be the help. Be the the army beside them.
Step#3: Discover joy again.
Yeah, if you haven't seen Pixar's new film "Inside Out" that came out this summer, you really need to do that (needless to say, I was pretty pumped that the main character's name is also Riley).
One of the coolest lessons that we learn from this movie is that joy is not the best emotion of all, and we don't need to experience it all the time. There's a huge emphasis on the importance of all of our emotions, which totally includes anger, sadness, fear, and other emotions we don't necessarily like. With depression, however, our emotions are often imbalanced because we've lost our joy.
For me, my faith in Christ is the truest solution to my depression. Years ago, I found a verse in the Bible that changed everything for me:
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." Psalm 40:1-2.
Whether you’re religious or not, I think that this describes the battle of depression with striking accuracy. Depression feels like a muddy, slimy pit that you can’t get out of on your own. It is a terribly sticky place that we don’t want to stay in, but we don’t have the strength to climb out of.
So, discover joy again. After you start conquering the lies and getting help from those around you, begin the journey of restoring your joy. If your joy comes from the people around you, shovel the gunk out from your relationships and find joy in them again. If your joy comes from the activities you’re involved in, ease yourself back into them. If your joy comes from your faith in God, ask Him to pull you out of that muddy, slimy pit.
So, there it is. Three steps for fighting depression that are much easier said than done: Don’t believe the lies. Get help. Discover joy again.
Depression and other mental illnesses aren’t going anywhere, so it’s time we step up and change how we respond to them. Join the fight. We've been waiting for you.
