The break is over. The gym is packed. Yeah, you guessed it. Everyone is getting ready for...
... and although I personally find it great that the majority of my school’s population is now urgently invested in their personal physical fitness, there are particular people I always seem to encounter at the gym whose presence seems to immediately fuel my fire. These people include:
1) The Treadmill Peaker
You are seriously going to adjust your speed by 0.2 so that you're running faster? Nice. Good for you.
2) The Friend Group That Gets in Everyone’s Way
This lovely group of people takes up way more space than
necessary, and then proceeds to glare at anyone who kindly asks them to GTFO.
3) The Girl With the Fresh Face of Makeup
Her hair is perfect. Her makeup is perfect. Even her outfit
is perfect. Oh, and she’s also chewing a fresh piece of gum because #athletic.
4) The Guy Checking Himself Out in the Mirror
HA you’re a tool.
5) The Person Who Invades Your Personal Space
The whole row of treadmills is open, yet this person insists on using the one right next to you. Why? WHY?!!!
6) The Runner Who Breathes Too Hard
When I can hear you breathing over the music coming through my headphones at full volume, it is a problem.
7) The Runner Who Isn’t Breathing
This type of person bewilders me, and I always find myself staring at them. I guess I just don’t want to miss witnessing someone pass out.
8) The Person Who’s Just Doing It All Wrong
Tip: In order to correctly execute a plank, your stomach must first leave the floor. You are welcome.
9) The Gym Creeper
Guys, stalking girls down by waiting for them to come out of the bathroom at the gym isn’t cute. It isn’t smooth. It’s creepy.
10) The Person who Isn’t Wearing Enough Clothes
Guys, I don’t want to see your nipples. Girls, I REALLY don’t want to see your nipples. So just dress appropriately for your body, please and thank you.
11) The Random Old Guy
Maybe a professor? Maybe somebody’s grandfather? I really don’t know, but he tends to get in the way by doing every exercise at an absurdly slow pace.
12) Anyone Who Takes A “Workout Selfie”
You are the worst kind of person.