The 12 Puns of Christmas: 12 Puns for Everyone at Your Christmas Gathering | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

The 12 Puns of Christmas: 12 Puns for Everyone at Your Christmas Gathering

This year, give the gift of a well-timed pun.

465
The 12 Puns of Christmas: 12 Puns for Everyone at Your Christmas Gathering

Family gatherings during Christmas can get a little awkward, but a well-placed pun can bring some holly jolly laughter to any friend, relative, or acquaintance you'll be rubbing shoulders with this Holiday Season! Lucky for you, I have 12 puns to appeal to any personality, guaranteed to make you the star atop your family tree.

1.) For The Grandma That Cooks a Lot

"I robbed a cookware store once. It was a little dangerous, but it was worth the whisk."

2.) Your Uncle With a Passion for Science

"Once upon a time there was a lizard born with no legs or arms. As he got older, he began to wonder why he was so different from his brothers and sisters. Troubled, he asked his parents about it. His dad placed a caring claw on his son's shoulder and said, "Son, you're adapted."

3.) The Little Cousin Who's Obsessed With Dinosaurs

"Why did the herbivore eat the T-rex?"

"Why?"

"Because Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures."

4.) Aunt Karen Who Won't Stop Talking About the Election

"So, did you know Hillary Clinton is an f?"

"An f?"

"Oh sorry, I meant to say 'female' but the emale was deleted."

5.) For The Guy Who Thinks He's Hilarious

"I've heard that comedians use a different currency than most of us. Comedy gold.

6.) Your Rich Doctor Relative

"There were two doctors running a blood drive. After the dive, they were looking over the records and one doctor pointed out a name and said, "That's incorrect. She is a type A, not B." The other doctor replied, "Oh sorry, must have been a 'type-O.'"

7.) Your Little Brother Who Probably Likes Ninjas

"Where do gingerbread cookies study to become ninja-bread cookies?"

"Where?"

"The dough-jo"

8.) The Friend With a Shoe Addiction

"I can't seem to find my shoes anywhere! And I can't borrow any because my feet are so small. Curse those little sneakers."

9.) That One Relative Obsessed With Healthy Eating

"Sometimes the diet trends I hear about sound disgusting! Oh well, what doesn't 'kale' you makes you stronger."

10.) Your Friend Who's Always Reading

"What do you think the tallest building in town is? The Library! Because it has the most stories."

11.) That One Neighbor Who Always Hosts The BBQ's

"You know, coming up with stake puns is an art. I guess you could say, it's a medium rare well-done.

12.) Your Parents

"This Christmas, I'm thankful for all you've done for me! Even for teaching me to do laundry. You've done loads."



Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

625525
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

518426
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments