One thing I really loathe in life is packing. The amount of time it takes to thoroughly pack your belongings combined with the anxiety that you're forgetting something vital to human existence is really something I could do without. It sucks all the fun out of wherever you're traveling to. Hopefully one of my favorite comedians, John Mulaney, will bring back the joy (fingers crossed) or I'll just keep being dramatic forever.
1. The initial excitement about traveling before you've started packing
Thinking about a change of scenery is exciting. You probably just want every one of your responsibilities to get the f*** out of your face. I understand.
2. The argument you lose with yourself to just get up and start putting your shit into a bag
"It will take maybe thirty minutes." Okay, but what if it doesn't? How long can I wait without making myself late?
3. Contemplating if you even want to go wherever it is you're packing for
Yes. Just go. Don't be that lazy.
4. Eventually, you miraculously convince yourself you want to go but still can't find the motivation
Give yourself a nice countdown, take a few deep breaths, and get up. It (probably) won't be as excruciating as you're imagining.
5. Complaining about not being packed yet while simultaneously looking back at all the time you didn't take advantage of
You have no one to blame but yourself.
6. Continuing to complain to other people in the hopes that they will make you feel better about yourself, but they don't
When you're just looking for a little bit of sympathy (cue the infamous "Cell Block Tango"), but everyone compassionately reminds you that you have no one to blame but yourself. Thanks, guys.
7. Finally mustering up the courage to start
Ugh, whatever.
8. Realizing you have no idea what to pack
I have two decades of living in Ohio to thank for this one. I have no concept of consistent weather patterns, so packing is an actual nightmare. Do I take pants? Do I take shorts? What about a sweatshirt if it gets cold? Will I need all eighty-five of the dresses I own?
9. Remembering you need to use about half of the stuff you just packed away
Here we go taking it all back out just to brush your teeth, brush your hair, put deodorant on, etc.
10. Finally finishing (or giving up)
What a relief.
11. Leaving and remembering all of the things you forgot to pack
I would maybe get a C+ for effort. Maybe. Please just let me be the garbage that I am.
Let's not even talk about unpacking.
