Whether or not we plan to, we always somehow end up eating too much on Thanksgiving. Little to most people's knowledge, however, it isn't a simple one-and-done process. There are 10 stages of eating too much over Thanksgiving, and they aren't all bad.
1. The "I could eat a horse...(or, better yet, a turkey)" Stage
You've been waiting for this meal all day, forcing yourself to fast so that you'll have room for the enormous amount of food you plan to eat. You've sacrificed and sat there hungry all day and you just can't wait for it all to be worth it.
2. The Paradise Stage.
That first spoonful of mashed potatoes and gravy. Everything is right in the world. You attempt to start slowly, but your plate is gone before you even realize you put food on it.
3. The "One helping wasn't nearly enough" Stage
One serving is for losers, and you're a winner.
4. The "I can totally go for thirds" Stage
You're done with your seconds, but that stuffing and cranberry sauce was just so damn good. You go in for the kill a third time.
5. The "Ooh...maybe I ate one too many rolls" Stage
Suddenly it hits you: maybe you didn't have room for THAT much food.
6. The "Eh, it's been half an hour, I can squeeze pie in" Stage
Dessert? Why yes, yes of course, there's always room for dessert.
7. The "Oh no..." Stage
Oh. Oh no. I should've waited longer and WHY did I think it was a good idea to eat four pieces of pie?!
8. The Food Coma Stage
You roll yourself away from the table, lay on the couch and sulk in your fullness and misery. The only thing that helps is that everyone else ate too much, too.
9. The "Hmm...is my belt tighter?" Stage
It's the next day, or possibly a week later, and you begin to regret letting loose on Thanksgiving day. Your stomach expanded from it and now you have to eat more to feel full.
10. The "No regrets" Stage...it's Thanksgiving, after all.
You decide to say "screw it" and start prepping for next year's Thanksgiving feast.
