Yo, they aren’t kidding when they say post-grad life is rough. These waters are treacherous, so if you’re one of the lucky ones that has yet to graduate – savor it my friends. I myself fall into the category of semi-unemployed. Not to disregard my current job, which I love very much, but it’s a seasonal position and there’s always an end-date. Which means in about nine days I slither my way back to the unemployed section.

Go to college they said, the degree is so important they said. But here I am, wondering if I’m even still interested in what I went to school for. Well of course I’m still interested, but as I’ve lived life I have also become interested in other things, some of which I didn’t go to school for. Do you see my problem?

I’m slightly confused, like any normal human, and I too live with pressures of life. I recently had to move back in with my parents, which is genuinely something I never thought I would have to do after college. Maybe it was all the smoke in front of my eyes, but post-grad life was made out to be a glorious thing my first couple of years in college.

Then suddenly it’s second semester of senior year and I’m applying to a job in another state. I find myself three rounds of interviews deep with said company and they end up going with a local candidate. Awesome! Amazing! Great! I started getting jealous of all my friends who were getting jobs in their field. I knew for sure I was missing out, and I convinced myself then and there that I was failing.

This was honestly the first time in my life where I ever really felt like I couldn’t do something. Like something was actually wrong with me, and while I felt like I was qualified for all these positions, I wasn’t able to stand out to anyone. What seemed like hundreds of applications and cover letters, with no calls, emails, or replies.

It starts to get to you at some point – to feel so confident, then get humbled so abruptly. My parents were handing me piles of job descriptions, most of which I wasn’t really even qualified for. My mom was really pushing for a job with awesome benefits like health insurance and what not. At that point I couldn't really tell between the two of us who was more excited for me to move out.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always have a knack for dreaming. Coming up with some random plan, but never really following through. It’s been a dream of mine to go on a road trip and find some place I love and just stay there. But owing thousands of dollars in student loans doesn’t really allow for fun to be had. I’m pressured with that looming six-month grace period that is going to expire on me soon. Those payments will start, and rest assured if I don’t have a full time position by then my mom would hold it over me for the rest of my days.

I had a bit of a mental break down today. Kind of, sort of, not really, but maybe yes. Nothing completely crazy. More along the lines of a realization; that I have all these dreams but they’ve never been more than just dreams to me. Graduating college was the big one for me. And I got there, and while I appreciate everything my parents have done for me, I was able to do most of it on my own. And while I’ve always been naturally independent, it dawned on me today that something clearly isn’t working.

I’ve begged my parents to leave me alone about work, but today my mom said something to me and it really clicked. She asked me what I was trying to prove, and then swiftly with the one-two punch she told me to get over myself. As simple as it seems, that was really all I needed to hear. She’s right; I do need to get over myself.

I’m not getting a job because I’m not trying hard enough. So when I start trying hard enough, I’ll get a job I actually want because I worked for it. I think I can speak for most stubborn people out there what I say I don’t ever want to ask for help. But setting a goal is the easiest thing in the world, and when you take advantage of everything you have offered to you, that foot in the door could be the first step in the right direction. So this one is for all my homies out there that are struggling to stay afloat in those dangerous post-grad waters. Build a future that you’re proud of, and don’t forget – it’s okay to ask for a little help along the way.