It seems like just yesterday you were sitting at the table next to me, smiling and laughing your deep belly laugh. I remember how your eyes would twinkle as we went around the table taking turns sharing what we were grateful for that Thanksgiving. How safe I felt all growing up with my small hand in yours as you’d pray for our meal and thank God for us, your family.

I remember your grin as you would make that first cut into the turkey, and how you’d always fill our plates heaping with steaming food we almost never were able to finish. You always made sure to at least try a bite of everything that us kids had prepared for our big dinner, and compliment us on our efforts. It always made me happy when you would reach for more of the green bean casserole I’d made.

This year, as I look back on all of the Thanksgivings past, I can’t help but be thankful for all of the years I did get to spend with you, all of the memories we’ve made together and all the lessons that I’ve learned from you. It’s been two and a half years since you’ve passed, but it’s still hard for me to believe that you won’t be here with us this Thanksgiving, or any after that.

The first Thanksgiving without you was sure to be the hardest, but the following ones haven’t proven to be much easier. It still seems strange to me you’re not the one sitting at the head of the table, or taking the first bite of that perfectly browned turkey. It’s hard to believe that twinkle will forever be only a memory, and the echoes of your warm laugh that haunt my mind aren’t there.

This Thanksgiving, your chair will be empty. You won’t be there to taste our dishes, or to hear about all of the things that we are grateful for this year. I won’t put my hand in yours to pray before our meal, and I won’t get to hug you after we are all done eating and all the dishes are washed and put away.

You won’t be here with us, your family, this Thanksgiving, but we will always be able to look back on the ones we did get to spend with you. We will always continue the traditions you created for us, and be thankful we still have the memory of you in our hearts and minds.

Even though your chair will be empty, our hearts won’t be. It won’t ever be easy without you here with us, but we will always be thankful that we knew a time when we did have you. After all, that's what Thanksgiving is about: being with family and realizing the time you’ve spent together is worth more than we can ever fully realize.