For most of the United States, Thanksgiving Day and the days of leftovers that follow are the full extent of Thanksgiving dinner. This is not true, however, for New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, Eastern Virginia, Central Florida, and Eastern Pennsylvania. Thanks to the wonderful Wawa, Thanksgiving starts in October and runs through December.
If you are from any other part of the country, you probably do not know what a Wawa is. Think of it as the One Convenience Store to Rule Them All. Imagine you could fill up your car and get a meal in the same place. Imagine the food you got was delicious and had some level of nutritional level; none of that Sheetz crap. Imagine buying chips, soda, ice cream, milkshakes, pretzels, coffee, and other such necessities in the same place. Now imagine the coffee that you bought actually tasted good. That’s Wawa.
So if a convenience store with a history of rocking socks offers Thanksgiving on a roll for about three months, you obviously have to buy at least twelve.
This mythical creation is known as The Gobbler. It’s sweet, it’s simple, it’s turkey, gravy, stuffing, and cranberry sauce on a hoagie.
So on those oddly cold October days when you long for a hot meal, the Gobbler is there for you. When it’s November and Christmas is coming obnoxiously early, the Gobbler will remind you of the Thanksgiving to come. Once Thanksgiving has passed and everything is merry and bright, the Gobbler reminds you that you don’t need to fake happiness; happiness can come to you on a sandwich.
So as November shifts to December and the cold winds blow, remember the Gobbler. Wean yourself off of Thanksgiving if you’re one of the lucky few who live in the land of Wawa. If you’re not, the best you can do is wish for corporate expansion as you cry into your leftovers and watch Christmas take over.