Though often forgotten in the face of everyone's favorite holiday (Santa's jolly round figure casts a pretty large shadow), Thanksgiving is pretty gosh darn great because food and parades and gratitude and food and family and food. I love seeing my grandma and all, but she is not edible, and we all know that the turkey and mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie are really the main event. And if there's anyone who understands the primacy of food in virtually all situations, that man is Ron Swanson. There are a lot of instances actually, in which Ron knows exactly how you're feeling on Thanksgiving, both the ups and downs.
When you've had about enough of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.
It's been every year for like a hundred years. Do people still like parades? Watching washed-up singers perform on a float with Elmo wasn't fun before, and it's not fun now.
Preparing for the arrival of your relatives.
The food doesn't judge me when I tell it my impractical major.
Getting stuck babysitting all the younger cousins.
Just because I half-heartedly called him cute doesn't mean I want to spend the next two hours getting bossed around by a four-year-old. Your job, not mine.
When your dad takes the family football game way too seriously but forgets that he's not as young as he used to be.
It's okay, Dad, there's no shame in aging. Expect a Life Alert in your stocking though.
Avoiding your nosy aunt who wants to know if you have a boyfriend yet.
Well actually, I have had quite a few late night meetings with pizza. Things are getting pretty serious.
Trying to be first in the food line but casually cause you're a grownup.
I'm not greedy. Just eager. Shh.
When you're unable to suppress the excitement because you're about to eat THE FOOD.
Not being allowed to eat the food you've been smelling all day is a form of torture and no we are not being melodramatic thank you mashed potatoes are no joke.
When your parents just won't stop trying to force vegetables on you.
Being healthy has no business here. If we try hard enough we can probably fit into a Santa costume by Christmas.
Losing your fork but plowing ahead anyway.
There is a time and a place to be ladylike, mother, and THIS IS NOT IT.
Beating your siblings in the unspoken game of who can eat the most.
Everything is a competition when you have brothers and sisters.
Turning into the Hulk when someone takes the last piece of pie.
What is there to be thankful for when there's not enough pie.
When it hits you that you have consumed more in one day than you had in the past week.
This is all your relatives' fault for offering you third helpings. THANKS A LOT GRANDMA.
When your mom bursts everyone's bubble and tells you that it's time to clean the kitchen.
If the dog moves over there might be some room to hide under the table.
Realizing at the end of the day how grateful you are to the pilgrims and Indians that they started such a delicious tradition.
'Murica.
