Why Long-Distance Relationships Might Make You More Thankful

Long-Distance Relationships May Just Make You More Thankful

The wait is worth it.

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College dating and high school dating are two different worlds, and couples who got together in high school know this well, especially the couples who had to go their own ways for school after graduation. It's not easy, in fact, it's probably one of the hardest things some people have to go through, but it's definitely a valuable lesson.

My boyfriend and I got together the day after prom our senior year. Super helpful right? If we had both confessed earlier, we could've been together way before prom, but that's not my point. I was scared. We both chose our schools, mine is just a few hours from home and his being far on the East Coast. We only had the summer together and I didn't know how I would be able to survive being so far away from him, but he wanted to make it work, and so I decided I wanted to make it work too. I will admit that even after a little over a year and a half, it's still a struggle sometimes. I had never had a long-distance relationship with anyone before, just a friend or a boyfriend. When we both went to school our freshman year, I thought it was going to be a breeze. We Facetimed almost every night and sent each other gifts often…but I began to realize that it isn't as easy as I told myself it was going to be.

When our breaks rolled around though, it was absolute heaven for me. I got to see my boyfriend in person and actually hug him instead of just talking on the other side of a screen. It made me feel thankful I got to spend time with him in person, but my time was limited in college unlike high school, where I got to see him every day. This was a complete reality check for me, it still is sometimes.

Being in a long-distance relationship can test your patience to a whole different level. It can drive you crazy when there might be an issue that's better to talk in person, or when you are having a serious breakdown because they can't be there with you. I've never missed getting a hug from someone so much before. Having someone that will gladly try to work things out and talk about problems is someone that you need to hold onto and not let go of, those are rare and special people. I'm always the one that needs a good cry to get the stress out, but my boyfriend is always the level-headed person that will work things out, and I'm so thankful that I have him.

It still takes me a few days to get used to the distance after a break, but when I do have time with him, I try to spend as much time as I can, whether it's making pizza or going to the city. Our relationship has certainly made me more thankful for the things I have in life because I might only get a certain amount of time with someone or something before it leaves again.

All in all, being in a long-distance relationship is full of many struggles, but you learn from those struggles. Facetime is your best friend, sending surprise gifts is the best, and the time you get in person with your partner can make you appreciate things a little bit better.

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle: Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay.

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.
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Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying. What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense. I've heard it all, "He was cute, why didn't you like him?" "You didn't even give him a chance!" "You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous; however, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do. I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well. Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

THIS IS CRUCIAL FOR FINDING A NICE GUY. It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault. If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs." Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him. If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it. He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush. Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling. :)

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Love Isn't 50/50

Love is beautiful and love is amazing but love isn't always fair and square.

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When you think of love what first pops into your mind? Is it hearts, the color pink and things that belong in the Valentines Day section at your local Walmart? Or is it a person, one that you have in your life currently or did in the past? The question of what is love seems so simple at first. The culture of love is all around us, with apps like Tinder and Bumble and tv shows that run the gamut of the Bachelor Franchise to Married at First Sight.

With all the content promoting the creation of love and finding it, you would think that everyone would be in a relationship. But they're not, and a lot of people don't want to be. It is obvious that the media and social culture we have created around relationships is entirely inaccurate. There is an attitude that is becoming more common in our generation and honestly, I'm scared. I'll call it cut-off culture.

Go on twitter any day of the week and without a doubt, there will be a viral tweet going around about an argument between a couple, that probably shouldn't have been posted in the first place. One part of the couple will be asking their audience for an opinion on what they should do or not do, eliciting thousands of opinions. These will be all over the place but by far the most common response I see now is " Throw the whole man/girl away! You don't need that in your life!"

While there are situations that you should definitely walk away from in a relationship, when they are abusive or serious, I believe that most problems are fixable. In my opinion, people our age have developed an attitude of where if something is not serving you at all times it isn't the thing to do. That is by no means to say that you shouldn't find some who makes you a priority, but you can't be the only priority.

Here are two truths and they might be hard to hear; it isn't all about you, and love isn't fair or easy. Love is struggle, love is pain, and love will piss you off more than anything else. The attitude of it's not working so leave it and find something new is incredibly damaging to our culture. If you ask people who have been married a long time how they did it you will most likely get a common response. That response will be "It was not easy, but we worked through it."

My parents have been together since they were fifteen years old and are now working on about 27 years together. One of the biggest pieces of relationship they have told me is that "Love is compromising and that compromise won't always be 50/50. In fact, most of the time, it won't be. A lot of the time it might be 70/30. But that's ok because the next time it will switch and you hold onto that. You choose to love the person more than the thing that is causing problems."

When I talked to my grandparents, their advice was equally great. They said, "When we grew up and something broke, we fixed it. We didn't buy a new one." Now I'm pretty sure they got that off a motivational poster, but it still holds true. Love takes work and it won't be easy. But the thing to remember is while you might not always like them, you will always love them.

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