10 Ways I Want To Thank The Ex Who Absolutely, Utterly Broke Me

10 Ways I Want To Thank The Ex Who Absolutely, Utterly Broke Me

I wouldn't have learned half the things I needed to, so thank you.
684
views

If you hadn't broken me, I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't be stronger, more secure in myself and my surroundings, more confident and finally feeling like I have worth again--that I have a personal worth, not a worth built around you. I wouldn't be more independent and be able to think and speak for myself.

I wouldn't have learned that I don't need a boy to revolve my world around; that I am an amazing, strong, powerful woman on my own. So, thank you for breaking me so I could understand these things and even more important ones.

To my ex, who absolutely and utterly broke me, thank you...

1. For broadening my music and movie horizons.

If it weren't for you helping uncover my younger passions for movies especially, I wouldn't be in the major I am now. Let's face it, too, even though I totally had better music taste, you showed me some amazing tunes/artists that I still love to listen to to this day. Plus, I can rap song dope songs I didn't know about before, so thanks.

2. For showing me what love was.

Love ended poorly for us not long after I--and you--finally felt it between us...but I'm thankful I experienced it for the first and so far only time. Who knows who I'll love next? Hopefully, though, it's more reciprocated than how it was between us. But wow, is love magical. Thank you for being the person I felt love with for the first time.

3. For showing me great beers, wines, and mixed drinks.

White Russians? Some delicious IPAs? Decent piss beers when we absolutely needed something quick and cheap to drink? Great red wine? Good food pairings with some beers or mixed drinks? You definitely broadened my horizons, and now friends come to me for drink recommendations more than ever before.

4. For helping me learn to be confident and secure in myself.

Which I wasn't before I met you and initially after we broke up. But during our time together, you helped me through so many of my body image struggles and insecurities. You uplifted me and showed me that my body is nothing to be ashamed of, that I should be proud of what I have. After you broke me, I felt more insecure than I had in ages, but now that I've realized my body really is something to be proud of again, I still have you to thank for helping me realize it from the start.

5. For teaching me new skills and lessons.

You helped me think outside of the box on some things, to get around a problem better. And a lot of that had to deal with what lead up to, sparked, and occurred right after our break up. I know and understand more now that I ever did before I met you. Even if that meant that I had to go through hell momentarily sometimes--both with you and after our breakup--to learn these skills and lessons, it was worth what I've learned. No pain, no gain, amiright?

6. For uplifting my self confidence.

You didn't just uplift my body confidence, but self confidence, too. All the things I was insecure in mentally or about who I was and my personality, you were proud of who I was when I wasn't. You helped teach me to have faith in myself and my abilities, to love who I am, to embrace what makes me me. And I still hold on to these things today and remind myself of my own personal worth. You encouraged me to pursue what I love, and I still make sure to do that, even more so now.

7. For showing me that I have to stick to what I believe in.

We would butt heads a lot when we dated, mostly as time gradually went on and things got shakier, but after we broke up, everything felt like hell. Even when you wouldn't believe what I said, what I did, thought that what I enjoyed or thought of things was often times dumb, it showed me to stick to my guns, to not falter on what I believe. Healing from the break up taught me that even more so; now, I don't stand down for what I think, believe, and know.

8. For letting me be independent.

The times I'd get clingy when we dated, you'd push me away to help me gain back my independence. I always felt weird when I started to depend on you, and so did you, so often times that would help me re-ground myself. Breaking up was a huge wake-up call in becoming independent again. And that was harder than I ever would've imagined. But here I am, more independent than ever; even more so than before we met.

9. For letting me think for myself.

I thought for myself when we first met, but the closer we became, the more I lost that. But you'd always challenge me to continue to think for myself, to do what I loved and what interested me, to form my own hobbies, political opinions, to make my own decisions even when I wanted to make them based on you.

Our break-up forced me to think for myself completely again, without you, and it was incredibly difficult. But now I think completely for myself again, and it feels freeing.

10. For helping me find myself.

I lost myself in you, completely. I took so much of you into me in the time we knew each other, and it was exhausting. When we broke up, I didn't have much of an idea of who I was anymore, and it was stressful, painstaking, and so much work trying to find and re-discover myself again.

And I had to learn to accept the things that were pieces of you that are now pieces of me, and to get rid of those parts of you that no longer are truly a part of me. So, thank you for hurting me, for breaking and crushing me, so I could find myself again.

-

Overall, thank you for being you and for the good and bad times we went through together and after we fell apart. I wouldn't be the strong, open, loving person I am today without you coming into my life. I can only hope I've helped you grow and become better, too.

If we never see or speak again, please know how grateful I am that our lives crossed paths, and maybe one day they will again, but either way, I wouldn't trade what I've experienced with and from you for the world. It'd be silly of me not to acknowledge that you have helped me grow into someone better than I was when we met and were together.

Cover Image Credit: Ashlyn Ren Bishop

Popular Right Now

6 Important Must Knows For Dating Sassy And Sarcastic Girls

Brace yourselves boys, she's a tough one.
12976
views

Dating a girl with a big personality can be tricky. They are some of the most amazing girls but to keep them, one needs to understand them. Here are six important things you must be aware of before you give your heart to a sassy and sarcastic girl.

1. Stubborn

She is going to be the most stubborn creature you will ever meet. I say "creature" because she might actually scare you with how much she refuses to back down until you have full proof she is wrong. And if you can’t prove her wrong, just suck up your pride and let her be right or she’ll never quit. But just remember that she’s simply passionate about whatever it is and you should be proud of her for that.

2. Bluntness

She is going to be blunt. So be prepared to hear the truth. She isn’t going to care how mad you get, if you’re being rude, she won’t be afraid to put you in your place. If your choice of clothing isn’t matching, she’ll tell you. Whatever it is, she isn’t going to keep the truth from you. Sometimes it’s subtle, sometimes she’s just a little too straightforward.

3. Sensitivity

Be careful sometimes with your choice of words. Though she is blunt, she is also sensitive. Her sarcastic personality is sometimes just a defense mechanism because she fears opening up. She worries a lot and continues to ponder the things you say. Remind her she is loved.

4. Friends

She is going to have a lot more guy friends than she will have girl friends. Why? Because guys tend to find more humor in her sarcasm and don’t take it so personal, whereas other girls take it as she’s being serious and just rude. However, don’t be jealous because trust me, you’re 100 percent hers and those guy friends are just that — friends.

5. Insults

She’s not going to flirt with you by giggling and blushing and calling you cute. She’s going to call you an idiot and smack you across the shoulder or back because to her, that’s easier than being all giddy and speechless over how much she likes you. And even when she’s calling you names, which really is in all fun and games, she doesn’t mean it seriously, she’s actually just saying “I love you” in her own special language.

6. Shorty

If she’s short in addition to being sassy and sarcastic, you’re in for a big treat with her. She is not only going to be full of fast wit, but she is going to have so much spunk in her you won’t know what to do. She will be so feisty that she won’t be afraid of anything or anyone and you yourself won’t even know how to handle her. That’s what makes her special.

It takes a certain type of person to be able to give their heart to someone who can so easily break it with their strong headed personality. But a sarcastic and sassy girl is going to be the one girl who is going to love you with all that she has. Treat her right, and she’ll treat you right.

Cover Image Credit: Larisa Birta

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

If You THINK You're Too Dependent On Your Boyfriend, You Probably Are

Depend on yourself before you depend on him.

555
views

Don't get me wrong, having a boyfriend and being in love is an incredible feeling. But when you depend on your boyfriend for everything and forget how to do things on your own, it becomes a major problem. You might not see it but your family and friends do. Yes he's your boyfriend and of course, you want to spend every single second with him but you can't carry him around in the back of your pocket for the rest of your life. So here's to the girls who are too dependent on your boyfriends, I think you girls might want to hear this.

First and foremost, I completely understand what it's like to be in love and want to spend every second with your boyfriend. I get that he is one of your best friends, one of the people you can trust the most, one of the sources of your happiness, one of your stress relievers, one of the things that brings you comfort, one of the people you can rant to for anything, one of the people that you can cry to about anything, one of the people that you want to make memories with, one of the people that you want to spend the rest of your life with and so much more.

Did you notice I said one of, for all that? He is just one of the people you can go to for all of that, not the only one. You have friends and family who can do all of that too. And trust me, we want to. While yes you might prefer him to those other people, it's still important to keep your friends and family in the loop of what's going on in your life and it's even more important just to keep them in your life.

When you choose your boyfriend over your friends and family for everything, you're slowly pushing them out of your life. I, and everyone else who's been where I have been, completely understand if you already have plans with your boyfriend, or if something is going on you want to spend time with him. But to blow off your friends every single time for him is a slap in the face to us. Or to invite him to everything we do is another slap in the face. Of course as friends and family, we want to spend time with your boyfriend but it gets awkward third wheeling.

Go out with your family and friends without him sometimes and make tons of memories, as you did before. Rant and cry to friends and family sometimes instead, we care about you and your feelings, just as much as he does... maybe, even more, when you guys are fighting. When you don't talk to or see your friends and family without him there, you're pretty much telling us that you don't like being around us and that by bringing him, it makes it more bearable for you.

With that being said, you have to let him do the same. You have to let him have time for his family and friends without you. It looks super weird that you follow him around like a lost little puppy dog. Let him have time with the guys, without you being there or showing up at some point. To tag along to every little thing he does isn't healthy. Tagging along to everything thing your boyfriend does, probably makes his friends, a little uncomfortable, especially when they want their guy time and you're the only girl and they don't want you to feel awkward or left out. Or his family wants to spend time with just him and catch up.

Do things apart from each other, so when you are together you have stories to tell and pictures to show them.

Speaking of doing things apart from each other. Don't let an amazing opportunity slip away because you have to spend time away from your boyfriend. Did I leave my boyfriend to do the Disney College Program, hell yes I did. Am I going to apply again in August or maybe January? Hell yes, I am. Don't be afraid to explore things without him, even if it makes you uncomfortable, because you never know when you might get a great opportunity again.

Learning to do things alone is scary, I get it. But don't base your schedule around his, I've seen so many girls do this and it just back fries in the end. Unless you have kids, you do not plan your schedules around him or know where he is at every single second.

You never know, one day he might not be there anymore, and if you're always with your boyfriend and forgetting about friends and family, you might not have them either. And then what? Who do you depend on?

I wish you all would learn to depend on yourself before you depend completely on your boyfriend for everything. You are capable of so many things alone. You might feel like your boyfriend completes you and makes you whole, but in reality, you were already complete without him. He's just an added bonus. Don't give up your friends, family, and life because you want to be attached at the hip. You might lose more than you gain by doing that.

This goes for couples who have been dating for all lengths of time. It could be six months or six years.

Related Content

Facebook Comments